It's Opening Day, so here are some of my predictions for the Reds this season.
1) 3-2-1 Night Hotdogs cause a food illness outbreak
2) Gapper endorses Amy Acton for Ohio Governor.
3) Redzilla wrecks into the bullpen doors and cancels a game.
4) Nick Lodolo doesn't miss a start due to blisters, but does miss the whole month of July due to splinters.
5) Sal Stewart's weight loss inspires the Reds clubhouse to cater to a fully Atkins diet.
6) Oz the Mentalist correctly guesses Phil Castellini's ATM code, but still underpays any free agents.
7) The Ghosts from the "Walks will Haunt" stinger become sentient and haunt Terry Francona's office
8) KeBryan Hayes attempts to use a cricket bat; his OPS goes up.
9) Matt McLain becomes a Die Hard superfan and legally changes his name to McClain. Yippee-Ki-YaY
10) CES hits 50 homeruns.
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