Joseph Maina

@peris21486 @georgediano Why are you like this 🤣🤣🤣

@georgediano 😂😂😂😂

Name the mikora?

@georgediano There is a typing error: "...the seriousness of a lady shaving her office..." 🥺

Meet the son of Adonija Gabriel Oguda, a fully grown intellectual who looked in the mirror, nodded respectfully, then decided lemme behave like Sudi. Oguda is currently a soloist in the Kumi Bila Break choir,, singing louder like rent is due and the landlord has already removed the door. Before he graduated into this nonstop praise & worship ministry, the man was Head of Logistics in Ugunja,, calculating alcohol bills with the seriousness of a lady shaving her office, buying Panadol & condoms for munene, securing coffee supplies, and most importantly, ensuring Opiyo Wandayi never slept alone in hotel rooms. He was supplying him with yellow yellow damsels & when the budget was tighter, walimwengu said he had to be the damsel. This is the same man who stammers like a Hyundai engine trying to start on a cold morning in Kericho. When he wasn’t in the office, he was at home babysitting his grandmother’s cat Medusa, a cat that probably had more consistency in life decisions than him. At some point, Oguda even had a dream. He wanted to open a guava juice processing plant in Kolenyo. But somewhere along the way, the guavas got replaced with Kasongo syrup. Back in the day, Oguda used to wake up early, stretch, yawn, and then PUTS STONE properly on William Ruto & his wife like it was a morning devotion. But then,, hunger my pipoos, Hunger!! Njaa ni kitu mbaya saidii. Lemme tell you Omwami,, hunger is a very persuasive motivational speaker. The moment the government doors opened after killing the Gen Zs, Oguda’s memory did what Safaricom bundles do,, expired instantly. The same man he was side-eyeing like a suspicious landlord suddenly became the best thing to ever happen to Kenya. Character development came faster like a man who has just climbed a massive sianda with an indomie foundation. Today, Oguda has evolved into a full-time praise & worship technician. He has become delulu like a broke lady refreshing Jimmy Wanjigi’s son’s Instagram hoping for a miracle DM. He wakes up every morning to praise Kasongo for rescuing him from poverty. Anyway, a man must survive, but at what cost? Take this to the bank,,, son of Kamagut will have our boy remove balloons from his nose sooner or later. Chesaa! May Yehova Wanyonyi remember the poor son of Adonija. Sisi kama walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

@utdKenani @NytoP2PMwangi 😳

@NytoP2PMwangi Huyo Dem alikuwa anapenda sherehe sana hungemkosa kwa club Nyeri her baby daddy didn't want the child so he forced her to abort

Regina Wairimu was strikingly beautiful. It is also worth noting that she was an engineering student, pursuing telecommunications and electrical engineering to be precise. This means she had scored an A or a very strong A-minus in her KCSE. Yet people often forget just how brutal her killers were. They stormed her apartment and ripped the foetus from her womb using a knife. Two bodies were brought to the hospital: that of Regina, and her foetus, wrapped in a paper bag. You might be powerful. You might bribe and intimidate people. But one day, one way or another, justice shall prevail.

@intro_martyne So sorry for the loss. May your dad RIP. Quick recovery to your mom. 😭

I hope my mum who was hospitalized with heart attack will not follow him..😭😭😭😭😭

Sad news — my dad passed away few moments ago in a sudden accident.

@KRACare 🤣🤣🤣 hiyo haiwezi wapita?

Congratulations.

@Branicemercy @JamesClear Algo

You are not your grand plans. You are your daily patterns. @JamesClear

@NdutaEvans7 @JCarhire Kulalisha kiti ya nyuma, unapanga mzigo boot yote na ingine inaenda kwa roof.

@JosephMainaDev @JCarhire I once carried 132office seats with G touring it's just more amazing than the probox ii ni ndai

A typical Kikuyu had that one car that does everything. Morning it’s in Ndarugu picking kina Njoroge wa mawe, then ikimbie Grogon to fetch parts for a sick FRR akiwa na mechanic Kamau. By afternoon utaskia iko Katani uko quarries imepeleka spare za tingatinga, later Nyandarua kubeba cabbage, then Tharaka ndengu, ipitie Mwea kubeba rice. Kesho utapata iko Mombasa Road kubeba cement… and the same same car in the evening is parked nicely at Muthaiga Golf Club. Jioni kidogo anaonekana nayo Karen with friends, na anaishi Old Muthaiga. Kitambo I used to hate Probox… until I saw a very influential Kikuyu pulling up with one. Mostly ni Probox, Prado J120, Townace. Which other car belongs in this hall of fame? BTW at gowheels.co.ke we have Proboxes for hire.

@JCarhire Hii pia uko nayo for hire? It is not a kawaida "chwi chwi"

@JosephMainaDev There's a neighbour ukua nayo na ye ukwamua watu wote

@JCarhire 🤣🤣🤣 this metal can't lose hope in life. Bora inaguruma kazi nayo itachapa vibaya sana.

@JosephMainaDev Baaas...and to date they're expensive coz I see old ones that have lost hope in life being sold at 450k+

@MasabaDaniel This is really inspiring. I like how you make the chicken houses with locally available materials, functional and good for the chicken.

The work is starting soon. Another chicken house coming up.

@georgediano disgusting 🤮

Does this gimmick attract female buyers too? Marketing strategy is unpleasant. No serious person would get involved. Hizi shamba zote lazima zikuwe na kesi. Hizi plot maguta maguta Lazima ziko huko Mkundu kwa Rueben ama Dogo Kundu Mombasa. These Okuyo brokers must be stopped.

That should be Nairobi. Ask @jack.

@EstelleNdome @joan_reals You can pray "anything out of existence" na hii Kenya vile tumeteswa, umekuwa tu hapo 🤔

@joan_reals Cut him some slack. Carry me instead. I can pray anything out of existence!

My “pillar of strength” is a coward 😂 Y’all know I’ll be doing a drive to L. Turkana in my 40-year-old Jimny. I asked him to accompany me. His first suggestion was that we use his car so we’d have two cars for the trip. I declined. The whole goal is to drive and camp along the way, in safe places. On the house phone, I found a very interesting search history. It could only be him 😂 Someone’s son is traumatized.

@MasabaDaniel @Bossyator 🤣🤣 you are so keen doctor.

@Bossyator Why aren't the nails in a straight line?

Our 3Bed A-Frame unit in Kericho. As DESIGNED vs As BUILT

@wanykimaina @Branicemercy Hii inapatikana wapi?

@Branicemercy yako ni grill door ya prison steel door nikama hii

Good morning from the chair lady of 😅

@AIRTEL_KE @njirainimuhia Thank you ^Luca

@JosephMainaDev @njirainimuhia Checking ^Luca

Match day inakaa better better ukiStream every minute of the game for just 45 bob. No FOMO on this timeline. #NoMoreFOMO #DoKilaKitu

@AIRTEL_KE @njirainimuhia Angalieni DM please 🥺

@njirainimuhia Apologies for the inconveniences caused Ike, Airtel Money team is working on resolving the issue . ^Luca

@kaka_ruto I learned of LazyGit from you my guy. I've never looked back.

I found a way to test AI agents with evals that make actual LLM calls without breaking the bank! Now I know exactly what my agent will be doing without having to spin up a UI or it Also, now I am mortifying my late momma's name here as Agent Betty 😭

@hillarykiptoo_ Talk to @_waigera.

Does anyone know where I can enroll to be a Safari Rally driver in Kenya.