Alex may

@StellarArtoisGB One of my favorite sounds is my boy cronching on a cheez ball. 😃

Things that are cute when dogs do it, but not humans 😅🤣🤣

People are climbing mountains & zip lining & I'm feeling good I got my leg through my underwear without falling down.

@positivityofx I asked the waitress for Coke and she brought me a drink. :( - @DanDuvallComedy

Twitter turns 20. What is your favorite tweet of all time?

Help.. I’m cat-sitting and it’s my first time having a cat sit on me. What do I do?

@Matt_Pinner Bagel

You have to name him the last thing you ate

@heavensbvnny Cat AND dog! ❤️

One fun feature of twitter is that if you just mention cats, people will reply with pictures of their cats. Watch: Cat.

@thehill It's always "change something you're doing that might save you 5-10 bucks a week, while we just let these fuckers go unchecked."

GOP Senate candidate on rising gas prices: ‘Maybe you take one less trip to Starbucks’ thehill.com/homenews/state…

@MediocreJoker85 Fantastic.

While reading an article about fathers and sons having their first drink together, I remembered the time I took my daughter out for her first drink. We went to a bar just two blocks from the house. I got her a Sam Adams. She didn’t like it. so I drank it. Then I got her a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Same thing — so I drank that too. Then I tried a Blue Moon. Nope… drank that as well. Thinking maybe she’d prefer something stronger, I ordered a Tito’s and soda. She wouldn’t touch it… so I drank it. In desperation, I even got a top-shelf bourbon — the bar’s finest. She wouldn’t even smell it… so I drank that too. By the time I realized she just didn’t like to drink, I was so drunk I could barely push her stroller home.

@jabeale @mitchgoldich Terrible. I love it. 👍

@mitchgoldich I'd say Long Island's got a distinct advantage in team spirits. I know. I apologize. Couldn't help it.

The biggest game of the first round is on Friday, when Long Island battles Arizona for iced tea supremacy

I want to see something: Should I as a woman be able to get a hysterectomy because of period pain and I don’t want to have a child?

@TerribleMaps I'm very intrigued by the Jackalope sausage! Fried gator, when done right, is absolutely delicious!!!

In case you were wondering what any of these actually are: Alabama: Ambrosia salad: fruit, marshmallows, and whipped cream Alaska: Muktuk: whale skin and blubber, often eaten raw or frozen Arizona: Scorpion lollipops: real scorpions inside candy Arkansas: Pork brains and eggs California: Sushirrito: sushi rolled like a burrito Colorado: Rocky Mountain oysters: deep fried bull testicles Connecticut: Steamed burger: cooked in a tray steamer Delaware: Slippery dumplings: chicken and dumplings in broth Florida: Gator: usually fried alligator meat Georgia: Pear salad: canned pears with mayonnaise Hawaii: Spam musubi: grilled Spam with rice and seaweed Idaho: Potato ice cream: potatoes blended into a sweet base Illinois: Gravy bread: bread soaked in meat juices Indiana: Brain sandwich: fried pork or beef brain Iowa: Fried butter: battered and deep fried butter Kansas: Chili and cinnamon rolls Kentucky: Wilted lettuce: greens with hot bacon fat Louisiana: Nutria: invasive rodent, slow cooked Maine: Tomalley: lobster liver and pancreas spread Maryland: Barbecue muskrat Massachusetts: Fluffernutter: peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich Michigan: Dessert nachos: sweet toppings on chips Minnesota: Pickle corndog: stuffed pickle, battered and fried Mississippi: Banana sandwich: banana, mayonnaise, cheese Missouri: Provel cheese: processed cheese blend Montana: Roadkill: legally salvaged wild meat Nebraska: Hot beef sundae: mashed potatoes styled like dessert Nevada: Cotton candy burrito: ice cream wrapped in cotton candy New Hampshire: Apple cider doughnut New Jersey: Oreo overload: dessert bagel with Oreos New Mexico: New Mexican sundae: custard with green chili New York: Garbage plate: mixed comfort food pile North Carolina: Livermush: pork scraps with cornmeal North Dakota: Lutefisk: lye soaked cod Ohio: Skyline chili: sweet spiced chili over spaghetti Oklahoma: Fried rattlesnake Oregon: Salt and Straw ice cream: unusual flavour combinations Pennsylvania: Scrapple: pork scraps and cornmeal Rhode Island: Chop suey sandwich South Carolina: Fried pig ears South Dakota: Cinnamon rolls with chili Tennessee: The Fat Elvis: peanut butter, banana, bacon sandwich Texas: Frito pie: chips, chili, cheese Utah: Pickle pie Vermont: Sugar on snow: maple syrup poured onto snow Virginia: Chitlins: fried pig intestines Washington: Geoduck: large Pacific clam West Virginia: Fried squirrel Wisconsin: Beer cheese soup Wyoming: Jackalope sausage: rabbit, venison, pork blend

The weirdest foods in each U.S. state

@NormSNLJokes Four bits... 😂😂😂

A Tampa businesswoman, who bought several of Princess Diana's gowns as a collector, is now putting them on display to raise money for charity. However, her method of display is being described by many as... "inappropriate." (the graphic flashes a sign that says "See Dead Lady's Dress: 50 cents.") (the audience HATES this joke. Barely any laughs at all. Some groans. One guy just loudly shouts, "Boo!") Norm: Still, for four bits, you know, that's a good deal.

@WillieHandler It's very good! Or very bad. I mean, I guess it was alright. I don't really remember.

My wife has a great movie recommendation but she doesn’t remember the title. She says it stars the same person who was in the other movie but she can't remember that title either.

@LRinaldiArt Cuz Hillary told him to. Thanks, Obama. 😡🇱🇷

Why did Joe Biden make gas prices surge so high after Trump started a war with Iran?

@JeepLife2022 @CuriosityonX

@CuriosityonX I was on the ground rescue crew at Edwards Air Force base in the 80s and I got to be on 10 missions/landings

It's absolutely incredible that they managed to bring this space beast back like a motorless glider. We hurled a machine into the infinite, freezing void, then forced it to surf a 3,000-degree wave of plasma back to Earth.

@ScarletCinema Champ. 🏆

“But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the Strait of Hormuz is open and people are having a wonderful time!”

@Movies_analyst Roy Scheider is so criminally underrated.

In Jaws (1975), the mechanical shark kept malfunctioning because it was designed for freshwater but used in saltwater, causing it to constantly break down, which forced Steven Spielberg to show it less and accidentally made the film far scarier.

@awkwardgoogle Cool!

The unpredictability of the double pendulum.

@mariana057 @LouDPhillips

If a bee is bothering you, don’t swat it or run away, just stare at it. Because seeing is bee leaving.

@Puppieslover Those ears!!!

This is Teddy. It’s his first time in his new home and he’s turned the paw game into the never-ending championship with his new human already. Joyful little taps on repeat human hand didn’t sign up for overtime but loves every second anyway. Pls heart him