Mike

@MatthewBerryTMR Etienned It Doesn't Even Matter #FantasyLife

What’s the best fantasy team name you’ve heard this year? Use #FantasyLife

@matuzalem @Bageloid @Ask_Spectrum Same here 10026

RT this if you'd rather eat paper towels than Miracle Whip

it is better to be feared than to be loved, especially if you work in a haunted house

@dinfontay damn, ok. Address?

@dinfontay wow you just owned me. ive been owned

@dinfontay you won't

a vote for anyone else is a vote against yourself. write your own name down in 2016!

@heyitsmeyonboy @verizon ;)

VERY handy guide from an expert in the field--The Four Pins Guide To Dying In A Crowded Room fourpins.com/life/dying-in-…

@dinfontay give them a YouTube blog and $750,000 to talk about your brand

The funniest part of tonight's Oscars is imagining Wes Anderson and Clint Eastwood having a conversation.

@tbsveryfunny would it help if you call it amir and jake? just get them on tv! #GreenlightJakeAndAmir

*sees New Balance 609s hanging on wire* "Gangs?" Worse.. Dads. "I'm scared" *hears faint "hi scared, I'm dad" echoing through neighborhood*

@dinfontay you look like Terry Richardson's brother who works in IT decided to see if he had any of the family magic

Don't have an iPhone, but want to support all my friends who've experienced the horror of receiving free music. Stay strong.

Nation riots after sequel to Once is titled Once 2.

@dinfontay they used to be half full, but now the bag's just soaked :/

@dinfontay glass half full--you own enough things to require a bag

@3rdLt @dinfontay I threw my coffee down, yelled "BENGHAZI" and ran out the door.