Grieving by accident

facebook.com/share/p/1AE4p8… Haven’t posted for a while, things have just been diddling along - Nothing great, nothing awful - but above is a link to a petition for #widow payments for those with families and their Bereavement Support Payments, please give it a moment of ur time ♥️

@wendy_passy Thank you lovely! Xx

@ruby_dood1es You will smash it. I believe in you xx

#grief put holds on my plans for #furthereducation I’d had grand plans and then reconsidered due 2 our devastating loss. Now, nearly 3 years as a #widow I’ve decided to try again. This time, not to further my career, but just for me! #selflove #betteringmyself wish me luck! 🥰

@khargaoasis I’m going to stick with what I know, I work in education so am looking at an early years and child development degree. Thank you for taking the time to message! 🥰

@ruby_dood1es What are you going to study? Brilliant!!

@pcamps1 Thank you, I appreciate your message 🥰

@ruby_dood1es Excellent; very good luck

@GeeMinx Thank you, that’s what I’m hoping 🤞🏼

@ruby_dood1es All the best will be good for your mind too

@mgrzeszczuk I totally understand this… we have 2 kids who are adults - their lives have changed so much already, in the short time that he’s not been here. He’s missed so much. I can’t even fathom how much they’ll achieve without his presence. Truly heartbreaking 💔 but all because of him

@ruby_dood1es What breaks my heart the most is him not being here for our daughter. She was his everything!

I’ve been away from here for a little while now… spending time focusing on navigating this new normal. #grief walks with me daily. Vivid dreams of my old life - sometimes they throw me, but mostly I manage 2 push forward. #widow next steps 4 those interested in my journey…

@mgrzeszczuk I’m so sorry 2 hear about this devastating loss! The same 4 us - 3 years ago Sept, a surgery that was supposed 2 make him better actually took him away. Didn’t have opportunities 2 say our farewells. Stolen in his prime at 47! I hope you have support. Reach out if you need to x

@ruby_dood1es 4 months tomorrow since my partner passed away unexpectedly. I still expect him to walk through the door. The pain is unbearable.

@Reynolds8Joy Three years is on its way for us 💔 Well done for getting to York!

@ruby_dood1es I am in York at present and yesterday was 3 years since we had his funeral. This was once place I wanted to come to with him. I am glad I have done it and packed so much into it. #Grief still hurts.💔😢💔 RIP xxx

Holidays while navigating #grief are tricky. Some of u may recall I did my first solo trip away & felt empowered. Unfortunately I haven’t ventured solo since. Took my daughter 2 Tenerife, it turns out our holiday styles are very different 😳 next year may see me solo abroad 🤞🏼

@ThorneKaren Good luck, I hope you have a fabulous time away

@JanetsEscapades Thank you for sharing this - it’s something that fills me with hope that I will get there 🤞🏼

@ruby_dood1es Yes, always difficult to venture out alone. I went to a Crime Fiction Weekend as my first break away. So, I did meet other people. Then did a few days away in UK before going abroad. Done that twice in last five years. It was much better the second time.

@CarolDa35420938 Thank you for this, we all #grieve at our own pace - I’ve also had experience of those disbelieving, thinking I’m fine… but it’s a stolen life, we miss him of course, but he’s missed out on so much! 💔 a month off 3 years for me 😔

@ruby_dood1es You can only move forward at your own pace - it's a week off 19 months for me ... people think I'm fine, but they don't see me at home sometimes sitting crying for what was, what has gone, almost 50 years together 💔💔

@peterplant57 Thank you for this 🥰

@ruby_dood1es Well done you 🫡💜

Been a little while since my last post, but I do have news to share… I’ve just recently returned from my 1st EVER solo trip. #widow taking small steps moving forward… A long weekend away, albeit locally- not much further than maybe 1/2 an hour away from home, but I did it! ❤️

@catness98765 Thanks for this, I used this space originally to document for myself - what I realised is there are so many in the same turbulent waters, all of us in differing vessels but needing support from each other all the same! I had one or two negatives, but I’ve decided to try again 🥰

@ruby_dood1es I was suddenly widowed 14 yrs ago. So I know. People say move forward, don’t think about the past. But, Tell my dreams that. I’m very sorry for your loss. Grier sucks!!!!!!! Be nice to yourself.

I guess I’ve found a new ♥️ 4 this platform, the haters can just 😤 Supporting adult kids with the #grief - a sudden loss of their dad is tough. Their lives are moulding,changing, they’re doing all of this without him 💔 all I can do is sit and quietly support without sobbing 😭

@180Debs Did a holiday with a friend the year before, she too a widow. We had an amazing time but her kids are younger than mine and her commitments may hinder further travel, especially if for too long… thank you though, for your suggestion, you’re right, we did have an awesome time

@ruby_dood1es Go with a friend. So much nicer to share journeys with someone. Join walking groups, WI, groups for things you’re interested in if you need to make new friends 🙂

So… 4 those of u following my #widow journey, u’ll know I’ve had 1 or 2 highs (& many lows…) I did manage a solo trip last yr! This yr, I’m feeling like I could push a little further! Any recommendations for a #solo female traveller? Where will I be safe and looked after? 🤔

Illness whilst managing #grief always seems so much worse somehow. A #widow without their better half to complain to… the missing validation of how it feels, almost makes it worse! Perhaps it’s psychological? Turns it into self pity? The many missing ‘normals’ of #grief 😢