banana daniel

Ginger just has a thing for bath tubs apparently

Tweeting it into existence that I’m getting at least one tattoo in 2026

Guess I better do my lesson on the days of the week in Spanish, damn #Duolingo

My wife and I are seeing Wicked 2 at an 8:50 am showing so I wonder if she’s prepared to cry before lunch 👀#Wickedforgood

I’m starting to feel “I need a nap every afternoon” years old

I have never in my life wanted a robot vacuum more than now that we have mostly hardwood floors 🙃

My manager is getting coal for Christmas after scheduling a meeting from 3:30-4:00 PM on Friday

“I think we’ve earned subs from Publix” is a phrase that’s going to get us in trouble

@Verizon’s customer service is more about selling you things you don’t want than actually helping and it’s infuriating

I have earned one hell of a gardening session once this is all over

Whoever invented pollen: your moms a hoe

Whoah I had forgotten all about the laser pointer that came with like a dozen lenses

I saw a comment on a tiktok that said “I’m okay with the parents I had so that my kids can have better” and that’s kinda sticking with me

A stranger described my baby as “so agreeable” so I’m gonna ride that high for a while

Now you know.

I’m calling it now: my son is going to be left handed

Once again I prove that I can do anything I set my mind to ✌🏻

What a year

So I basically cruuushhhed my job interview today Fucked around and forgot I was a Leo and I’m literally perfect at everything I try to do