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@elonmusk at Twitter HQ tomorrow:

It’s official: Brazilian wives remain undefeated. #NFL

Passengers on plane: Russell Wilson:

Heard Russell Wilson got the zoomies en route to London.

We have truly entered a new era of football, ladies and gentlemen. The transition from the butt-fumble too butt-punt has officially begun… Mark Sanchez is smiling in his booth somewhere #NFL

Tony Ball-Hard with the go go gatchet stretch #Cowboys

Boba Fett? More like Jar Jar Fett #TheBookOfBobaFett

Making my annual Twitter cameo to announce at how disappointing #TheBookOfBobaFett has been.

Nothing like drinking expensive Cuban rum in Rio de Janeiro feeling like a king from of the exchange rate until the rum takes effect and start thinking you can afford to buy call options before @tesla’s Q3 report. To the moon! @elonmusk

First observation in Brazil: there are not as many obese pedestrians.

Where the actual fack does one store a 2 dollar bill?

Does anyone remember when Texas was relevant?

And totally irrelevant to my last tweet, yesterday I saw Steven Tyler in white Jeep turning right on Lipoa St with a Cockatoo on his lap. I can’t make this up folks. #Maui

Bullish on Snoop Stock commenting on NBA. Long term, hold for growth. #SnoopDawg

Not. Much. Happening. #2020

There’s a special place in hell for those that purposefully select “cash tip” on delivery apps with no intention of leaving any gratuity whatsoever. #PandemicJob

Does anyone else’s brain subconsciously glitch out when the actors in a movie aren’t wearing masks inside a building? Asking for a friend.

Hey 2020, it’s a lil late for an April Fool‘a joke. #PfizerVaccine

2020, you had me going there for a second! #Pfizervaccine

Football is the best medicine this country has received since the pandemic began. #NFL