Comedy Guys

So my co worker just said: "You shouldn’t eat red meat!" I said: "My grandfather lived to be 100yrs old." He said: "Did he eat red meat?" I said: "No, he minded his own business."

when I tell you I'm getting my life back on track...

@Sophia_Nyx His first, The Lion in Winter

fav anthony hopkins film?

@gnuman1979 This must be Sir Mix-a-lot's ride.

That's unfortunate.

@SouthernAF7 regret

There is no jelly. Peanut butter and ?

@itsallbollocks Oh, no. He's like twenty years older than I am.

Who called it genetic engineering instead of gene hackman?

'Scuse me while I kiss the ground

@DocAtCDI Not me. When I feel urges to make chemistry puns, I barium.

When it comes to chemistry puns... Im in my element.

@Super70sSports Somehow, none of the pizzas I've had since school tasted as good as cafeteria Pizza Day pizza.

Friday? I heard that’s pizza day.

@DocAtCDI Now I want an all-female supergroup called Glass Ceiling. #rockmusic

If I started a band called Ceiling... Would that make people who enjoy my music Ceiling fans?

@DocAtCDI I wonder if Nomad children ever run away from home.

I wonder if Nomads ever get angry?

@Sophia_Nyx Stardust

fav michelle pfeiffer film?

@ilovenostalgia I'm this old...

I'm this old...

I’m this old…