Sam Paasch

@RichVague How’s Wayne’s World?

Do you think the screen is too small? Don’t worry, I have the magnifier! Also, F1 Race holds up

Look what I found. Let’s see if it turns on

@_TimLarkin_ Felt the same way the first time I heard it from you @AbsoluteGooth and @RealTeeMartin

@BrianHeff As a Salad Brother™️, I have a tactic I highly recommend. Put the dressing on the side and dip your fork per bite. All The Best.

can never remember how much salad dressing is enough when I'm pouring. it's always too much.

Glad to see things go Kroenke’s way, for once. Hoping some of that good karma carries over and things finally work out for Kraft too.

@BrianHeff @mental_floss @RichVague @jakeguidry Get out of your shell and try Planter’s new Mr. IPA Nut!

@mental_floss A real beer nut, amirite @RichVague @ModestSam @jakeguidry ?

Planters Is Now Making Peanut-Flavored Beer — bit.ly/2Pkptpx

@davezitko @nprbutwithso This is just the kind of smoking gun a nosey journalist would use to uncover who is behind @nprbutwithso

So, I want to wish my friend @nprbutwithso a Happy Birthday today.

@BrianHeff @P_Milford please weigh in

Sink or float is not trivia.

@BrianHeff Did he t ever reach edamame or peanut size?

@BrianHeff @Megatronic13 @A_Carp Sir, whenever you’re ready, we’ll all split the Cindy Crawfish Boil. Family style. Thank you.

Imagine a restaurant called, “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad”. The waiters are dads in their grass stained sneakers and t-shirts. The food on the menu, all puns. ex) a Robert Brownie Jr. And may God have mercy on the souls of those who mess with the thermostat.

Looks like you guys committed a fowl on this one. twitter.com/nytimes/status…

@stretchfest Imagine Taffer wagging that massive finger at 'em!

*john taffer voice* "SHUT IT DOWN!!!!* twitter.com/CNN/status/976…

Let's be real, @Disney Gaston = Patrick Bateman

Solidarity, Florida twitter.com/nytimes/status…

"There is a lot more to this." Alright, Chris. Just knock it off, okay?

"I can't imagine what you're going through at home." No, Chris. You can't but we appreciate it nonetheless.

@jakeguidry Fair enough. Probably a more enjoyable discussion off of twitter.

@jakeguidry Not defending the people. I think it's important to start with what their actual views are. Is it happens, I would defend some of points Jordan makes. Can't claim to know everything he's ever said. I'm curious which of his views you find so offensive?

@jakeguidry Kind of. Looks like you're missing the point. When someone's views are intentionally misrepresented and then debated against, I have a problem with that. We've been through this before.

Love that after backlash to your fourth-grade caliber article, pretty much a "how to" of the straw man fallacy, you want people to reach out to you to explain their views. As if the controversy is JP's stances and not your dishonest "journalism". twitter.com/jacksmithiv/st…