Rick Jeffries

@FreshAsKell We’re a big-time law firm. Here’s what I’m doing this afternoon

@fourtotheside Repurposing, budget-cuts style.

Our office has everything: • Hot Cocoa • Tea • Beverage stirrers • Tape

@MichaelGoodwil2 Please. Here at the dignified old firm we have bow-tie-wearing orderlies to bring us coffee on china

@fourtotheside No K-cups?

@justinclay The refrigerator. Duh

@fourtotheside But where's the duct tape?

@serahsue I was a big fan of Goose Jerky until he was traded to the Astros

@Nolan_Mc I thought only lawyers were in the thrall of Big Plaque

Any one else getting repeatedly spammed by email saying that you can be listed as an "Inspiring Leader of 2023" for the low, low price of $1500

@Nolan_Mc @GaddieWindage Also we’ve normalized cultural appropriation of the umlaut

@GaddieWindage Its the perfect portion size

Thanks to Häagen-Dazs, we now have two full generations of Americans raised to think you only eat ice cream directly from a pint carton.

In which I display my hipness to my daughter by almost guessing the name of the artist whose show she attended

Paint correction: Adequate

@FreshAsKell Please donate to my GoFundMe

@fourtotheside Tots and pears.

Also Jimmy John’s did not deliver the pickle I ordered with my sandwich. It is my lot to struggle, apparently

@FreshAsKell I’m more of a “kick things over, screaming incoherently about my English muffin, until someone takes a certain-to-be-viral video of my meltdown” kind of guy

@fourtotheside You could calmly drive your car through their front doors like some very logical people have done…

Hy-Vee did not toast my English muffin before buttering it and serving it to me. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time

@NWSOmaha Are we really thinking we’ll have highs in the 30s until April?

Sunday will be warm with temperatures steadily cooling next week. There's a small chance for light rain or snow in northeast NE and southwest IA Sunday with increasing precipitation chances by the middle of the upcoming week.

It is possible that during my life no one has been or will be as cool as Ben Orr singing “…and you look so fancy, I can tell” at 1:32 of this video. youtu.be/TsPh-EgH65M

@bradwphoto Probably an offset to my damages. Good point.

@fourtotheside Co-worker just got back from there and said the parking garage is free today, so at last you have that...

I should absolutely be in the kind of spiritual condition where I’m grateful to get to put on a coat and tie and head to the courthouse for an in-person 30-second hearing. But instead I’m considering making a claim against the county for the cost of laundering one shirt.

@FreshAsKell @RustyLord Yeah, yeah. I got a kid in college in a couple years and I just got clients in this cold-ass part of the world used to the idea that they are paying for it.

@fourtotheside @RustyLord When you relocate.

FIRST ALERT: Very very loud signal that a large chunk of cold air dives south for the middle of the month. The midweek snow chance next week is what unlocks it. I don't think I've seen an outlook map like this showing below average temps possible for nearly the entire country.

Daughter’s school just sent an email saying “we’ve changed web providers and an unspecified number of days ago you would have received a code you would not have understood from a sender you had never heard of. Well, you’ll need that now, so go find it.”