Dr. Leo Spaceman

Do you ever think, "Man, I wish I understood how the human body works!" Because I do every single day! What a mystery!

@CaitlinSacks just give a bag of your blood (or whatever blood you can find) and give it to @TracyJordanTGS, he'll pass it along. Thanks!

@whitehouse 40 dollars means an extra bag of perscription marijuana for my crippling need to watch TV for 9 hours straight #40dollars

@ohitsjustphil HA HA! I haven't been lucid in decades.

Pills are like the M&Ms of the medical world.

@stevesoboslai Are you interested in being a commercial for some new medicine I am developing? At MOST it will cut 34 years off your life.

@ohitsjustphil Need a checkup? Call me anytime, but e-mail me first so I can get to the right payphone.

I once treated a young man named Tom Riddle. Nose transplant = successful!

Many people, don't know this, but I studied medicine at Colombia before returning the US with my medical "degree" and "license".

@stevesoboslai I saw you on television! How much would you sell your eyes for? It know it's a tough question, so take a few minutes to think

Science is whatever we want it to be.

@TracyJordanTGS I actually happen to have both of those items in my hand as I read this! Serendipity!

@TracyJordanTGS I need a urine and blood sample from you. Can't tell you why, but know that I have "science" in mind.

Instead of Doctor, think "Doctor"

@iTunesTV @nbc30rock @kelsey_grammer @nbc Not sure how I feel about Liz's new man. Can you get me a stool sample?

I should start by saying that I can't personally help you conceive. Something happened to me while scuba diving.

Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up.

Science is whatever we want it to be.