Harrison $co# Key, Ph.Balance°

I remember when Facebook was just stuff like this and articles about an alligator eating a baby

I’m not rich but like I can afford the nice Band-Aids

Literally my life

good metaphor or a haha metaphor

McStale’s Constant states that where X = the total number of chip clips in the home at any given time, one will by necessity require X³ chip clips in the home at any given time

@sammyrhodes Lest we forget backpack ibuprofen

Downstairs ibuprofen? Must. Upstairs ibuprofen? Smart. Car ibuprofen? The stuff of legends.

Remember toothpicks? They were everywhere. Restaurants, in the cabinet at home. Also restaurants. Rich people had them in a cinnamon flavor. You could do a lot with a toothpick

NEW MEXICO OLD MEXICO CANT THINK OF THE THIRD ONE

We call that drinking

My prayers for a year free of skeleton controversy have once again gone unanswered

@hgongaware liveinuruguay.uy/live?gad_sourc…

@HarrisonKey link?

Anybody else getting those really weird ads about relocating to Uruguay? Those are weird right? But also like, maybe? 🤷‍♂️

Man that war with Venezuela kinda seems like the good old days

I would feel more represented in popular culture if they showed more people eating leftovers

A cooling unguent would be nice

I think they meant every marriage

I spent $11 today on @OldSpice deodorant at @Walgreens and I said DANG MAN THATS WHAT DINNER COSTS and the cashier didn’t even look up from his phone