Stoo.

Summary concluded…

This is 23 year old Kamel Hawkins. Death penalty, anything less is a disservice

Mic drop. 🔥🔥🔥 The mentality of the democrats. They all need psychiatrists.

@SaP011 Feck meh. How low can you get wasn't supposed to be answered with "a kitten".

My favourite stat of the day: Patson Daka has scored 20 league goals (10 in premier league and 10 in the championship) in 130 appearances. In Matt Elliott’s first 4 seasons he scored 20 goals in 127 appearances. Matt Elliott played all but a few games at Centre Back. 🤦

Retweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

Vegans try meat

@chialex125 Another reason to stay single.

“Liar liar pants on fire” You didn’t have any physical relationship with him, how did you get pregnant? I don’t care what happened between you and Mr Kaiser but these whole public display would’ve been avoided and settled amicably privately. You got separated form Mr Kaiser, you got pregnant for another man during the process, yet you pinned it on Mr Kaiser. Then you came to national TV only to make a fool of yourself. He even has to do a DNA test for the 3 years old. If a man has any doubts and you’re innocent, oblige to any process he might request for to vindicate yourself….

@anon_opin "Can I get a..." You can get fucked is what you can do. And the horse you rode in on.

I'm getting really pissed off with all the Americanisms that are creeping their way into British society. It's a dog LEAD, no you can't pet my dog, you can PAT it, and no, you can't get a coffee, not unless you're going to go around the counter and make it yourself.

@MiloTindle9 @UKLabour

Fuel £1.75 a litre Council tax up another £350 Water rates up another £220 Inflation at 3% Food prices up 12% @UKLabour putting more money in your pocket apparently

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, he thought his girlfriend was cheating.

Based?

Hands up if you’ve had your council tax bill for the next year and it’s going up! 🙌🏼 Mine wasn’t frozen, it’s gone up. Labour lied to get into power. “Labour would freeze your council tax” “Not a penny more on your council tax” “No ifs, no buts” Lies, lies, and more lies.

❗️Essex police shut down their live facial recognition cameras because they were catching too many black people At the same time, they admitted the cameras rarely picked up anyone who wasn't already on the watchlist. The system was accurate. They just didn't like the results.

Last season when Palace fans were en route to Wembley, they all stopped to pay their respects to a military veteran passing by. Got a lot of time for that, love it! 👏❤️

@fesshole I'd say all of them. And he's more than likely got a spreadsheet, marking each one with a score for length, tone, and ferociousness. Get the brussels on for dinner.

I smoke a lot more cigarettes at my boyfriend's house just for an excuse to go outside to fart. He recently showed me a funny video from his Ring doorbell cam of someone falling in the snow, and fuck. Those microphones pick up everything. How many farts has he heard?

Sir Lewis Hamilton takes Sir Frank Williams for one last ride, around the Silverstone Circuit, as the F1 paddock celebrates FW's 50th anniversary as the Williams Team Principal. ❤️ #F1

Muslim takes his elderly parents on a pilgrimage to Medina. Instantly starts strangling his father believing he'll get straight on his flying horse from there. Glad they're the religion of peace or they'd be dangerous 🤦🏻‍♂️

@bushontheradio A bit of strong cheddar with it, banging.

About to eat a whole pack of beetroot. Your thoughts on this please.