Calvin “Silent Cal” Coolidge

Settling debate with Mrs. Cal: Best place to vacation?

@JTburnerman Eiffel Tower 101

What could they possibly be talking about in here

@chadingtoncfp Fuck me im trying. -Cal

People with less than 100 followers tweeting

@Temp248889 She want you

Umm what do u do if ur friends gf snaps y out the blue

@BigGlennNetwork Ur moms room

Where the fellas going for some Great Head these days?

@RajeshTheO01mg Friends ew

Raj’s top 5 sitcoms

#MutualMonday comment below and I’ll tell you how many times I think you’ve cranked hog in the past week

@richardciderbox That’s about right

@CalvinSilentCal Chaotic good

Mutual Monday comment and I will give my opinion where you stand on the moral valence of law alignment chart

@BathroomTakez I can help if you want, dm me if you are still struggling

Alright who gonna teach me how to make money on this fuck ass stock market

Burners with less than 47 followers tweeting

@burnermcged You got this brother, go get some box

Currently in the process of bagging a strawberry blonde everybody shut the fuck up #dontfuckupmyjumper

Anybody using Snapchat above the age of 21 needs to rethink their life choices

Puppy just puked and now my other dogs trying to eat the puke #retard

@RustySmith280 That tattoo is criminal

VALENTINE!

@ketgoblin1635 Ex-wife no more

Ex Wife was screen recording at 12 am. Am i completely fucked or what?

@burnermcged well im hoping to get Mrs. Cal on that boat so i need the bv to stand up

@CalvinSilentCal I live in a city by the beach so mountains is the only one that’s an actual vacation for me. The rest is just Tuesday

Settling debate with Mrs. Cal: Best place to vacation?

@burnermcged absolutely not i have 0 musical talent whatsoever

@CalvinSilentCal Can you play sultans of swing on the electric tho? #dontthinkso

Pro tip: if you want to get better at fingering your girl, pick up a guitar.

@burnermcged who said i was only okay now? #magicfingers

@CalvinSilentCal I guess being just okay and being fucking brilliant is the difference between us Cal.

@burnermcged that’s what I did and it worked out just okay

@CalvinSilentCal Don’t disagree, but you don’t show up to week one without attending mini camp