Dr. Genius, Esq.

@angelavanerp @luxemiaa So you married Ned Flanders?

@luxemiaa My husband has brought me a coffee every morning for 26 years. He does the yard work, plants flowers every spring. Keeps the pool ready all summer, shovels and clears my car in the snow. I don’t want to do yardwork, I don’t want to make the coffee. I will make the plate.

I was 16 when my 18-year-old brother got married. I remember one night we were all at my mom’s house for dinner. My new sister-in-law was making herself a plate and, trying to be a good wife, she started making one for my brother too. He didn’t ask her to. He wasn’t expecting it. He didn’t even know she was doing it. Before she could hand it to him, my mom quietly pulled her aside. She told her to put the plate back. Then she said, “He has two perfectly good hands. If you start doing this now, he’ll expect it for the rest of your life.” My sister-in-law looked surprised, but she listened. My brother got up a few minutes later and........

@Govindtwtt "Great Depression level unemployment"? You're fucking retarded.

People are sending 30 or 40 job applications a day. Three, four rounds of interviews. Still nothing. We are flirting with Great Depression level unemployment for young adults. But sure. Tell them to “just work harder.”

@MattH_4America Actually, I'm 57 and watching hockey. There will be a day in the near future where gas will be much lower. The only people complaining are those who can't delay gratification. Sometimes you take a step back to take a step forward.

The only retards willing to pay more for gas because "IRAN WAS GOING TO NUKE US!" (propaganda, and a lie) are either wealthy or over the age of 65 and retired, and don't have to worry about filling the tank to go to work. In their recliners, watching Sean Hannity and Mark Levin.

@secretsqrl123 We get it, you're Deuce Bigalow. Without the laughs.

trump is a fucking idiot, this is going to end badly. a pool with no chemicals (not allowed), no filter (thats what the 300 million was for). with a bright blue background. in summer..... its going to be a green soup in a matter of days. anyone with a pool knows this. i cant wait

@Kristinartz I retired at 50. Hurt my back and ribs a year later. 2 unsuccessfully surgeries and I'm unable to do 95% of what I want. Moral of the story? I should have retired at 40.

Retirement age should be 50. People deserve time to live, not just work until they're too tired to enjoy it. Agree?

@james_xond Probably 8 or 9. Started hunting dove and grouse around 13. Archery deer hunting at 14. Rifle hunting at 16.

I’ll ask again because I’m trying to prove a point: How old were you the first time you ever fired a gun?

@KurtSupeCPA Ivecrun the math. And so have a lot of other people. Retirement is no longer some you don't have to think about. I retired at 50 with 40 years of annual expenses saved. The other half of saving is living within your means and delayed gratification.

-401(k), IRA, Roth, HSA, brokerage -Social Security at 62, 67, or 70 -ACA marketplace until 65 -Subsidy cliff math -Sequence of returns risk -Roth conversion windows -IRMAA brackets -RMDs at 73 -Long-term care self-insurance -10-year inherited IRA rule -Retire at 67, live to 90+ The math nobody runs: 1985 retiree needed money to last 13 years 2005 retiree needed money to last 17 years 2026 retiree needs money to last 25 to 30 years Through 2 to 3 bear markets, rising healthcare costs, and tax law changes nobody can predict

Retiring 1985: -Pension covers 60% of income -Social Security covers the rest -Health insurance from former employer -Spend down savings if you want -Retire at 62, live to 75 2005: -401(k) replaces pension -Social Security at 62 or 65 -Retiree health benefits shrinking -COBRA bridge to Medicare -Retire at 65, live to 82 2026 ↓↓

@thehill Two months after Pearl Harbor, what did Americans get? Two months after DDay, what did Americans get? As a Veteran, I expect more from him.

Mark Kelly on Iran war: ‘What are the American people getting out of this?’ thehill.com/policy/defense…

@__iDio @0hour1 So it's my fault you're too stupid? Fuck all the way off.

If you have to smoke marijuana and drive you should be arrested and banned from smoking. You are not responsible enough to handle it.

@DonShift3 That's not hilarious, it's sad. What a waste of good weed. How were the tacos?

@KCitons Hilarious story about one of the guys she smoked with and his backyard weed. Dad found it growing in some corn in the garden and ran the whole 6ft plus stalk down the garbage disposal. Family ran the famous Mexican place in town

Look at this shit. That’s like what 40 shelf feet of 0% beer? All they sell here is Mexican beer and IPAs (and gay beer)

@DonShift3 I know, I got my weed from her. Actually most people in our city got their weed from her.

@KCitons Nah, she was a stoner

@DonShift3 You're right. I knew your mom back then. She'd have hoisted a case of those Budweisers under each arm and headed for the checkout.

@KCitons I'm not my mom in 1989

@HappyMotorhead I like it.

If "extra" was a truck exhaust... 💅✨ ​Is this a work of art or a cry for help? Either way, it sounds like thunder had a baby with a chainsaw. ⛈️🪚 ​Would you run this loop or stick to the straight pipes? 🏎️💨 ​#GMC #TruckLife #ExhaustPorn #CustomExhaust #CarMods #EngineStart #LSTrucks #Silverado #Sierra #CarCulture

@0hour1 Hey, I resemble that remark.

@AwakenedOutlaw Does that mean if people vote to prohibit women or black people from voting it would be okay? Since they voted for it?

Sorry to break it to you, John. It doesn't matter whether they voted for something that was put before them if what they're voting on was unconstitutional in the first place. That's not how the law works. And also why we're a Republic, and not a Democracy.

@Liathetrader How much food are you throwing away each month?

The comments on here are clear sign of Americans eating rice and bread and processed crap for half price. Oh well. Maybe if you would start eating healthy and not processed food you wouldn’t be fat, sick and retarded.

Groceries for 2 people. Will last us maybe 5 days. I don’t know how people do it. This country is becoming unbearably expensive. 2k monthly groceries Not counting if you want to go to a restaurant once a week, add another 1k.

@0hour1 We shop every 2 weeks. Just the two of us. We spend $300 per month. And maybe another $100 at Costco per month.

Are you eating Lobster every day?