The Michkov Mafia

@chefbriere 100% agree.

i think the flyers signing john carlson would be a shortsighted move

i never met/spoke to my father but randomly when i was 17 he sent me neutral milk hotel song over facebook messenger and i ghosted him. then a week later he died of a heroin overdose and i couldn’t help but blame myself

@Joe_McCoy12 @LalimesMartian Thats the only one im not mad about. Tbh I think its only because of Quinn being there currently.

@LalimesMartian I like how Minnesota is suddenly the premiere landing spot

Brady Submitting a 4 team trade list of Carolina, Vegas, Minny and Florida tells you everything you need to know about the new NHL.

I once dated a woman with BPD who threw a prosecco bottle at my head (I dodged that shit) and told me to get out, so naturally I prepared to vacate the premises but before I could she grabbed a knife and threatened to plunge it into her heart if I left. God I miss her.

horniest a girl has ever been text

Just witnessed a lady in Boston leaving a restaurant saying “this place sucks, come on boys.” Before being followed out by three men in kilts with heavy Scottish accents. The New England women are exactly where they want to be

3 abortions and you scared to hold my glock in yo purse…. Bitch you the killa

@GreenTextRepost That stupid whore ruined everything.

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@neppy Thats actually an insane amount to put away. If i put that much into my 401k a year, instead of the max they let me, I would be a millionaire by now. 8 years.

locking away $30K a year into retirement accounts is insane cool you'll be a millionaire when you're 68

@uncledoomer Same. Havnt paid a medical bill in over 4 years. Credit score it still over 800.

a few years ago i started throwing every medical bill directly in the trash and there have been literally zero consequences

Pulling out my cock and cumming in one fluid motion like a samurai unsheathing his sword.

asking a toddler to switch seats with me on the plane so I can sit next to their hot mom

@billybrizzle420 I take advantage if EVERYTHING at my job. I only take home like 42% of my income. 20% to 401k. 90$ a week to HSA. Union dues and stock purchase plan all eating my check.

Begging my coworkers to take advantage of the employee stock options “If you spend 300 dollars. They give you 640 dollars worth of stock. It’s free money’ “But I have to spend 300” Yeah but it’s still yours. You’re not losing it “But they’re taking money out of my check”

Just walked up to a group of 8 niggas w no gun and said “yall empty yall pockets” they beat the FUCK out me omg

Sounds like my friend’s hinge date went really well

You just created 100 Oliver Trees. Always test your coke. To Oliver Tree: rest now, brother. We have the watch, and I will see you in Valhalla. Dave Chappelle (getting serious 50min into his special): Oliver Tree was my friend and he died. He fucking DIED. I didn’t even know he was sick.