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It’s either my uncle Waruthu is heavily bewitched… or the man is the luckiest dropout kikuyu in the history of Kenya.
This man dropped out in Class 6. No degree. No biashara. No master plan. Just inherited land and some anointed timing.
He starts in Kingeero with a plot left by his father.
Then boom Western Bypass construction comes slicing through it, then KeNHA appears and tells him,
“Waruthu, kindly move, but first collect your 16 million.”
Now a serious man would sit down, call a fundi, maybe an architect, maybe even think of rentals, biashara, mabati ya tenants, something sensible.
Not Waruthu.
Waruthu buys land in Gitaru for 4 million, puts up a 3-bedroom house, then takes the rest of the money and launches a one-man campaign of alcohol, women and complete financial vandalism.
The man did not spend money. He attacked it.
Two years later, before the dust even settles, KeNHA returns again.
This time for the Gitaru-Kikuyu interchange.
I’m not joking.
Same man. Same story. Same government. Another cheque.
19 million.
At this point you stop calling it luck. This is now a calling.
He moves to Manguo near Limuru town, buys about three-quarter acre, builds again for around 4 million, then does exactly what he had done before.
Not almost. Not roughly. Exactly.
House first, then the balance is taken hostage by bars, women and enjoyment until nothing remains except memories and hangovers.
Any other human being would learn.
Waruthu?
Waruthu behaves like a man who thinks compensation is a monthly salary.
Then last November Ruto launches the Rironi-Nakuru-Mau Summit Road project.
Now tell me why this man’s land is again sitting next to the highway like it had been booked in advance.
Again the government comes.
Again they acquire.
Again Waruthu is paid.
This time 25 million.
You people, there are men who hustle for 20 years and never smell 5 million.
This fool has made a full career out of being removed by road projects.
He doesn’t farm.
He doesn’t build wealth.
He doesn’t invest.
He just keeps positioning himself where tarmac will eventually develop feelings.
The last report we got was that he had moved to Ponda Mali in Nakuru.
Either there’s a powerful mganga somewhere blessing his land papers… or God has a very twisted sense of humour when it comes to my uncle.
The man is turning Kenyan infrastructure into his personal ATM.
Respect. 😂
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