Miraballer 🔥🏈🏆🔥

Tried to participate in Miami's Pro Day but was told "get out of here" and "we're calling security". That's no way to treat an alumnus who won an intramural flag football championship. I will no longer be supporting Miami football until I receive an apology. -José

Incredible turnaround for Miami basketball under Jai Lucas. The future is bright in Coral Gables.

I try to inform my fans about a new book release, the algos go lol, fuck you, seven of your 50k followers will see this. I tweet a story from when I was a kid about Ceaser Chavez being scum, 2.1 million views now. But anyways, for the eleven of you who will see this, Monster Hunter Files 2 came out two weeks ago. :D

@SomeBitchIIKnow DURING spring break!

Happy 33rd birthday to the 1993 blizzard in the South that killed my goldfish. 😠

@ItsTorTor11 They look massively fun too! That's the important part, lol.

@splitufan Naw you are good. My pink shoes do look massive in this photo 😂😂😂

Pink shoes and saving teeth 🦷 another day at the office

@ItsTorTor11 Ha ha. I thought you had angled them on purpose to look big. My bad. I wasn't calling you out.

@splitufan 😂😂😂 it’s the angle of the photo I guess idk — I’m 5’10 so size 12 shoes 😅😅

If Alabama wins the Big 12 tournament this year, I’ll eat a shoe.

@SomeBitchIIKnow You sure it wasn't the Arsenal?

Ooo anybody else in North AL just hear that thunder? Holy crap lol.

Do not get into an aura farming contest with the United States. You will lose.

@SomeBitchIIKnow And a billion dollars would solve the rest

I can’t be certain, but I think having a bean burrito in that parking lot while listening to Delilah would solve half my problems.

Humbled to serve and represent 🙌 Prepared to earn the trust and respect through action for Tight End U. Thank you to everyone for the warm welcome!

I’ll go out of my way to avoid buying from any company that puts a patch on a college jersey

@SomeBitchIIKnow I would bake you a cake

Be sure to put money in my commissary. I need koolaid.

If the leaked info turns up somewhere online I’m going to use it to determine how many illegals are registered to vote via the DMV. Arrest me for it idgaf.

@SomeBitchIIKnow And definitely the best fast food onion rings!

BK always has good onions. I said what I said, and onions are important.

Burger King burgers are good AF. I don't get fast food as often as I did when I was younger, but BK is superior. But McDonald's has the better soda and it's not even close. #fatpost

We mourn the passing of Lou Holtz. Rest in Peace. ♥️🕊️

Remembering the life and legacy of Lou Holtz

Rest in Peace to a college football legend 🕊️

Louis Leo “Lou” Holtz, legendary college football coach, Hall of Famer, bestselling author, and one of America’s most influential motivational voices, has passed away at the age of 89 in Orlando, Florida, surrounded by family. Born January 6, 1937, in Follansbee, West Virginia, Holtz rose from humble beginnings to become one of the most respected figures in college athletics. Over a remarkable five‑decade career, he led college programs at William & Mary, NC State, Arkansas, Minnesota, Notre Dame, and South Carolina.  He transformed every team he inherited and captured the 1988 National Championship with the Fighting Irish. Holtz was preceded in death by his beloved wife of more than 50 years, Beth, with whom he shared a life grounded in faith, devotion, and service.   Holtz is remembered for his enduring values of faith, family, service, and an unwavering belief in the potential of others. His influence extended far beyond the football field through the Holtz Charitable Foundation and the many players, colleagues, and communities shaped by his leadership. He is survived by his four children, nine grandchildren, and two great‑grandchildren. Funeral arrangements, including a Mass of Christian Burial at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart at the University of Notre Dame, will be announced as details are finalized. The Holtz Family