Jatthew Montgomery

@Zachary_94 It’s new

I took mi daughter to chick-fil-A for the first time today and it was honestly really good. How come no one told me this?

@ethelhemsworth U get any turtle puss?

Espresso martini before swimming w some turtles bc the anxiety has been off the charts. Having a day

@420penny69 You can never take it off?

Got a permanent anklet last night. I’m #obsessed

@alan_bastable Gah damn that’s a lesbian build if I ever seen one

strict “Hamptons major casual” dress code out here

@FurrStayFlowin Sorry I was afraid to axe

@JatthewSaid It’s all in the replies but here and add tuna

Lowkey eating straight dill but cucumber salad and homemade lemon shakeup 💋

@colrebshat Only kweers

Who else rocking old state flag in office today #LANK

@Foodacriss Lemme axe you sum

The buzz balls and the baby shower cap 😂😂😂😂😂 “Lemme get dat uhhhh, numba 27”

@bennett_fitzy They just gonna hop in, no questions axed

This is a black persons wet dream

@buttersloves911 @Bag_Enthusiast U think those chungies can catch you?

@Bag_Enthusiast i’d get jumped

i got dragged to the chud club

@SmokeySnipe @buttersloves911 They’re all lesbians

@buttersloves911 Looks like a bar competition on who has a fatter wife

@BarstoolBigCat @hen_ease @PardonMyMeme Circling back here.

@BarstoolBigCat @hen_ease @PardonMyMeme Figured I’d follow up here.

I heard @BarstoolBigCat doesn’t even eat the burgers and it’s just a bit. Care to comment? Video footage of you eating 50 dirty burgers 72 hours will confirm this is in fact not a bit.

@Ufcbatman @buttersloves911 Do u not agree?

@JatthewSaid @buttersloves911 What a strange thought to have

@facetedcarapace The fuck on her feet? Toe shoes?

I think people who don't wear bike helmets don't fully understand how fragile the human skull and their brains are. It truly just takes one solid bonk in the right spot to ruin the rest of your life.

@HaterReport She got that dump truck

Knicks fan passed out at the parade, a woman saves his life and bro IMMEDIATELY tries to kiss her 😭💀 INSANE

@MrJerryOC @NYCSanitation Give it a rest, Jer

Lemme know if you need Mr Bing Bong's help. I'm good with a broom 'CAUSE WE SWEEEEEEP BING BONG HANKIE BLEW IT Thank You @NYCSanitation

@MoEgger @Skyline_Chili Hot dog chunks on pizza needs to go

Got a sneak peek at the new @Skyline_Chili on Fountain Square. It’s equipped with a bar, a pizza oven, a merch store, and there are menu items you can’t get at any other Skyline location! It opens Friday and you’ve gotta check it out. #Skylinepartner

@Fischwick Are you upset with the map or what? Confused.

@NoCapCapitalLLC JO on it

Why does this couch in my hotel make me want to engage in nefarious activities

@skydogprincess Gut dump incoming. Hopefully you took care of business before boarding.

morning flight, 5 days of pto, beach with college friends, and dunkin coffee 🍾🍾