Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁

32.7K posts

Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁

@JiveKevinSumlin

Buyout Parody Coach of the Year + Heisman Winning Parody Coach + Black Jesus & Black Bear + Purveyor of #TheSumlinVIPRoom = Jive Kevin Sumlin! Not Kevin Sumlin

Houston, TX 参加日 Aralık 2011

602 フォロー中5.7K フォロワー

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·7 Eyl

Almost heaven, Houston strip clubs Treasures, Men’s Club, & The Ritz Boobs are big there, bigger than double D’s Coaches like ‘em dumber, blowing hundos like a breeze Houston roads, take me home To the place I belong Bottle service, mountainous mamas Take me home, Houston roads

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·7 Oca

Just came out of a 3 week holiday bender/blackout. Found a “Welcome to the Houston Gamblers” email in my inbox. What the hell did you do to me @JimmySexton9 ?

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·22 Ara

I scored more than my Aggies vs Miami.

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·20 Ara

@on3 @ThomasFrankCarr I ain’t seen shit @JimmySexton9

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On3@On3·4 Ara

NEW: Penn State's search has netted other coaches an estimated $370.8M in extension money🤯 (via @ThomasFrankCarr) on3.com/teams/penn-sta…

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·20 Ara

Doing lines with McAfee. Getting him prepped for the kicking contest. He has no idea what he’s in for in the #SumlinVIPRoom after the game. He’ll be naked and crying in the corner when he finally comes down Sunday afternoon.

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·5 Ara

So high that if a cop tazed me, I wouldn’t feel it

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·1 Ara

@Smoke1dawg_ @JimmySexton9 And it would be the modern day “Blazing Saddles.”

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Smoke@Smoke1dawg_·30 Kas

@JiveKevinSumlin @JimmySexton9 They’ll have you picking cotton in the MS Delta in no time.

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·30 Kas

Hey @JimmySexton9, I’m taking the Ole Miss Chancellor’s wife to Vegas. The job will be mine and her toes will be permanently curled. Everyone wins! #Yessir

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·17 Kas

@MithilaWaala Damn, I always gotta pay extra for that

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·3 Kas

@JiveDanMullen @JimmySexton9 There's got to be a P4 school stupid enough to hire my red Cougar Aggie Wildcat ass.

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Jive Dan Mullen@JiveDanMullen·2 Kas

My man @JimmySexton9 is going to be extra busy this year.

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Pete Thamel@PeteThamel

Sources: Auburn has fired coach Hugh Freeze. He’s gone 6-16 in the SEC over his three seasons and 15-19 overall. After losing to Kentucky last night to fall to 4-5, Auburn is in danger of having a losing record for third-straight year.

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·31 Eki

@JiveDanMullen Yes, it's one of the few things I haven't pawned.

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Jive Dan Mullen@JiveDanMullen·30 Eki

You still got this thing @JiveKevinSumlin ??

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·31 Eki

@Smoke1dawg_ @JimmySexton9 I'll do anything for a job...including deep throating a corn dog while standing on the sideline.

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Smoke@Smoke1dawg_·30 Eki

@JiveKevinSumlin @JimmySexton9 I can see you now on the LSU sideline with a plate of corn dogs.

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·30 Eki

High on my list of goals is getting a fat buyout from LSU. Help a brother out @JimmySexton9!

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·31 Eki

@BruceFeldmanCFB Good, that sumbich fired my red ass at A&M. #Karma

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Bruce Feldman@BruceFeldmanCFB·31 Eki

SOURCE: LSU and AD Scott Woodward are parting ways. Executive Deputy AD Verge Ausberry is expected to step as the interim AD. Yahoo first reported the moves.

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·30 Eki

@BarstoolGruden @jakemalasek I love @JimmySexton9's G5. #YESSIR

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Jon Gruden@BarstoolGruden·30 Eki

We love Southwest!!

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·30 Eki

@treywallace Made Landry an offer he can't refuse. Hire me as the next LSU head coach and I'll open up the world's biggest Sumlin VIP Room in Baton Rouge. Everyone wins!

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Trey Wallace@TreyWallace·29 Eki

Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry just slammed LSU athletic director Scott Woodward on Brian Kelly fiasco. Says he will not hire next coach “No, I can tell you right now Scott Woodward is not selecting the next head coach. I’d let Donald Trump select it before I let him do it…”

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·30 Eki

@JManziel2 McLovin with the truth hammer! That's my boy!

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Johnny Manziel@JManziel2·30 Eki

You’re one dumb cocksucker. Turn the Texas games off and watch some other ball bud

Censored@censoredhorn

This is the worst Heisman year I can remember in awhile.

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·29 Eki

Hey @JiveTomHerman, I heard you're heading to the Dirty Third. I got nothing else going on, let's make it a two for so we can really get a rise out of the crowd at TDECU Stadium. Will be my first time back since I blacked out on the visitor's sideline versus Major Applewhite.

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·29 Eki

@JiveDanMullen @JimmySexton9 @JJSpirits Pretty please with cocaine on top.

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Jive Dan Mullen@JiveDanMullen·25 Eki

@JimmySexton9 @JJSpirits Send some to @JiveKevinSumlin

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Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account)@JimmySexton9·25 Eki

It’s a bit late, but this week’s #fridaynightbourbon is @JJSpirits Barrel Strength Tennessee Whiskey. With a 80% corn mash bill, this 5+ years aged Tennessee whiskey is outstanding. A sweet brown sugar start with a slightly spicy finish, this is an outstanding pour. 4.6/5

Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) tweet media

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·29 Eki

@JiveDanMullen @danorlovsky7 I got nothing else to do.

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Jive Dan Mullen@JiveDanMullen·20 Eki

@danorlovsky7 What about @JiveKevinSumlin ? Immediately available.

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Dan Orlovsky@danorlovsky7·19 Eki

Really liked Billy. Just didn’t win enough. Lane Prime Sumrall Golesh

Pete Thamel@PeteThamel

Sources: Florida is firing coach Billy Napier. He’s gone 22-23 in four seasons there, and Florida is 3-4 this year. Florida has a bye week before playing Georgia on Nov. 1.

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Jive Kevin Sumlin🚁@JiveKevinSumlin·29 Eki

@JiveDanMullen @blurtversus @dj_case