kip

@nathantubb @joncoupland No wonder its rare ,its awful

RARE ONLY 155 made for the UK market @joncoupland Please view this ad: 2013 smart fortwo Iceshine mhd 2dr Softouch Auto COUPE Petrol Automatic Price:£4,995 gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-mo…

@joncoupland Another shapeless and style less blob ,same as all the others ,modern cars have no soul

This is the new Nissan MIcra. Poll in the comments

@IfindWankers That 500,000 was the fleas and headlice they carried

Found 500,000 MEGALITHIC WANKERS and BladeoftheSun for the cherry on top!

@autcareandshare Looks good ,who did the washing up .

Ryan made this👇, looks absolutely delicious, Mexican shredded chicken, nachos and dips 😋

@joncoupland Why didn't you just use a temporary fuel supply straight into the carbs

Why?! Why is it doing this?

@Puppieslover How much?how much?how much?

Best caption wins

@MatchDCentral Which season ,Summer ,winter ,spring or autumn...

🚨💣‼️ Breaking: Reports claim Manchester City could face a 60-point deduction. If confirmed, they’d drop to the bottom of the table and be relegated. ❌ Final decision expected before the season ends.

@RegLocal Somebody needs to find out the make and model of that tyre ,if it holds together to wear that low its got to be a decent quality tyre when new

Getting a new tyre fitted & last week someone drove in on this, asking for a puncture repair.

@joncoupland Another project or a spares donor Probably worth the £200 in scrap

Only gone and bought another, haven't I?! Does this sound like the Head Gasket has gone? ... never had one blow before! youtube.com/watch?v=y1XfPM…

Saw this in Gran Canaria. Can't be many others about and still working

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

@nathancorke987 @OfficialBHAFC Condolences from us up in Barnsley

RIP to my hero , my brother who died in a tragic car incident the other day ! He was a beloved Brighton fan , we had season tickets for 14 years we went to mostly every away game possible too . If you could show him some love and praise ❤️I love you Brad @OfficialBHAFC #bhafc

@Mishi_2210 31 30 dead plus the killer the rest have escaped

@us_connie Blame it on chineseium

@Mr_Husky1 I managed to keep the last message from my late partner on our home answering machine ,her son listens to it when he feels down

I work at a cell phone repair kiosk in the mall. I’m used to cracked screens, water damage, and impatient teenagers. Last Wednesday, an 80-year-old woman handed me an ancient, water-damaged flip phone. Her hands were shaking. "Can you turn it on?" she asked. "Just one more time?" I looked at the corroded charging port. I told her the motherboard was completely fried and it was beyond repair. She put her hands over her face and started to sob right there in the middle of the crowded mall. "My husband died last week," she whispered through her tears. "His very last voicemail to me is saved on that phone. I just need to hear his voice one more time." I flipped my "Open" sign to "On Break." I took the phone to the back, pulled out my micro-soldering kit, and spent three hours working on my own time. I managed to bridge the fried circuits just enough to get it to power on for exactly two minutes. I quickly played the voicemail and recorded the audio onto a flash drive. When I handed it back to her, she hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe. Technology changes every six months, but a memory is supposed to last forever. Anonymous

@TheGriftReport So where does all the money the armed forces get each year get spent on if they have no ships etc to send

STARMER TELLS TRUMP: UK "NOT READY" TO SEND WARSHIPS! Keir Starmer refused President Trump's direct plea for Royal Navy ships to protect the Strait of Hormuz after Iran threatened to shut the route carrying 20% of the world's oil. In a Sunday night phone call, the PM said Britain simply isn't ready offering only mine-hunting drones and missile interceptors instead. Global oil prices have already surged sharply towards $100 a barrel. The Royal Navy has zero minesweepers available and is stretched thin prioritising NATO against Russia. This is embarrassing...

@higgyboson Thats the Labour party wives outing

"Oh Fatima, your Jamilia looks fab in this pic". "Yeh I know, luv. Where is she again"? "Second from the left, third row". "No luv, that's Aisha". "No it ain't, that's Shoneequa the girl who lives above the butchers shop. Her Dad does those nice kebabs ". "No luv, it's deffo Aisha". "Well we'll have to agree to differ on this one Babe. Anyway how's the nail bar doing"? "Musn't grumble. But had 3 customers run off without paying this week. The CCTV is no bloody help. Let's face it luv, us ladies all look the bloody same. It's like looking for a grain of sand on the beach in Blackpool. No chance. Never mind eh. Actually I think that might be Jamilia in the middle. We'll never know will we. Sometimes I wonder if we should just tell our fellas we're sick of this nonsense and we're gonna be wearing stuff from New Look fom now on. At least we'll be able to recognise each other in photos".

@AwayDaysClub_ So both teams 'score' an easy goal in the first couple of minutes .Then the game starts for real at 1-1 so no longer a scoreless draw

Tim Sherwood: “Goalless draws should give zero points to both teams.”

@TheBrightonBase @andysixsmithtv Refreshingly honest ,most players and pundits would have claimed they meant it

🗣️| Yankuba Minteh on his goal against Sunderland: “That’s the strangest goal I’ve scored in my career. We’ll take it though! “I wanted to cross the ball - and then I just saw the ball in the net!” #BHAFC [via @andysixsmithtv]

@WorkElizab Wizzy wotsit

Wrong answers only Me: generator 😂