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A couple of days ago, @JamesAFurey shared his powerful testimony, and it hit home hard because like him, I denied God and Jesus for over a decade. Today, God put it on my heart to share mine. Not to add or take away from anyone else's story, but so I can fade into the background and let Jesus and the empty tomb shine through.
On Sunday, October 27, 2024, I carried the heavy weight of more than 10 years estranged from my faith. The joyful hymns of my childhood had turned into silent resentment toward my parents, who once nurtured my beliefs, especially my mother, whose narcissistic actions, despite claiming to be a "pastor" and a "prophet" left deep wounds.
Global events and circumstances had left me open to believing that there was a God behind everything, turning what was meant for evil into good, so I had begun seeking out truth but was extremely guarded out of fear of being lied to.
The sermon was on forgiveness from Matthew 18. My heart, hardened by old conflicts, started to soften. The pastor talked about forgiving "seventy times seven" times, and those words echoed inside me, calling me to let go of the bitterness.
The pastor also referred to Ephesians 1:17 "that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him."
At the end, during the altar call, the pastor looked right at me, my wife can attest, made eye contact with me, and said, "Forgive your mother." My heart melted. I went to the altar, knelt under the cross, and prayed for strength to forgive, and for God to forgive my own sins and to heal my hard heart. Tears streamed down my face like a quiet renewal as I whispered the words.
After unburdening my soul, I returned to my seat lighter, hopeful, but still a bit unsure. As I sat down, the projector showed the next song for the congregation: "Blessed Assurance." I'm so grateful my wife was there to see it, because it feels almost too incredible to believe.
The title hit me like a freight train. "Blessed Assurance" was my favorite hymn from childhood, sung countless times before doubts and family issues clouded my faith. And this was a remix, a new song by Elevation Worship called "Trust In God." It felt like God's personal whisper, confirming my prayer was heard and my heart touched by grace.
Tears flowed again, but these were tears of joy and homecoming. The lyrics sealed it:
Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine
He's been my fourth man in the fire, time after time
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood
And what He did for me on Calvary is more than enough
I trust in God, my Savior
The one who will never fail
He will never fail
I trust in God, my Savior
The one who will never fail
He will never fail
Perfect submission, all is at rest
I know the author of tomorrow has ordered my steps
So this is my story and this is my song
I'm praising my risen King and Savior all the day long
I trust in God, my Savior
The one who will never fail
He will never fail (x2)
He didn't fail you then
He won't fail you now
I sought the Lord and He heard and He answered (x3)
That's why I trust Him, that's why I trust Him
That's why I trust in God, my Savior
The one who will never fail
He will never fail
Oh, I trust in God, my Savior
The one who will never fail
He will never fail
I sought the Lord
I sought the Lord and He heard and He answered
I sought the Lord (and He delivered me from all my fears)
I sought the Lord (from everything)
And He heard and He answered, oh
That's why I trust Him, that's why I trust Him
I sought the Lord and He heard and He answered (x3)
That's why I trust Him, that's why I trust in God
After the service, I talked to the pastor. He reminded me that forgiveness doesn't mean letting an abusive person back in your life to harm you again.
Jesus is with me. He rose from the grave. He is alive and full of love.
James A. Furey@JamesAFurey
It is with some personal surprise that, after 30 years as an atheist, I’ve come to say: I believe in one God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible. I believe in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten Son of God, born of the Father before all ages. … I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son
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