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Count Mysterioso🎗️@MysteriosoX·4h

@SimonHarrisMBD Piss off with your whining self justifications, you grifting cunt. Pay back the money you charged the council for delivering fuck all.

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·1d

Well … first things first. I’m sorry. Regardless of the circumstances, simply vanishing off this network in January 2024 would have deeply disappointed a lot of you. I can only apologise, and off the back of that I honestly don’t blame any of you for thinking the worst. If you kept on following me on Facebook, you would know that I had what I can only describe as a full-on breakdown. I should have tackled it head-on at the time, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. For what it’s worth, the most accurate (in my view) article about everything that happened is bbc.co.uk/news/articles/… (mainly because it took Essex Live ELEVEN MONTHS to update their own viral article with my version of events). I also covered everything in detail with @PaulMaleary in a video at youtu.be/wnXYOH7e_QM?si… I’m not going to pretend that there aren’t a thousand other versions of what happened out there, including me having to flee the UK to Thailand as it was all a government psyop conspiracy, man. Feel free to believe whatever you want to believe, but I’m back to reassure you all that I’m still in South Essex, not South f*****g Bangkok. Impersonation on here was becoming an issue as well, so I know - I’m a hypocrite for restarting on X after slating it left, right and centre. Nobody’s perfect. Like I said, believe what you want to believe. All I’ll add is that I’m not typing this on a mobile that I’ve smuggled up my chocolate starfish into Wormwood Scrubs. That’s not to say that I haven’t made mistakes though. No illusions about that. Some of my antics on this network were utterly cringeworthy. What’s done is done. I’ve waffled enough now. Nobody likes a self-indulgent ramble and enough of you hate me as it is. Again, I don’t blame anyone for taking a dim view all things considered, but at least I haven’t deactivated (and I don’t mean in the social media sense), which was clearly the goal for a very small but dedicated group of people. Much love to you all, lovers and haters regardless xxx

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·2h

@GarethNotGarth Can you show me any examples of someone else making the same joke at 1.04am, or proof that a lot of people didn’t come up with the same joke at the same time. I mean of all the stuff you could be giving me shit for, this is kinda weak.

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Gareth@GarethNotGarth·2h

@SimonHarrisMBD We all know you stole the joke you grifting fraud. Just like you stole a living.

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Gareth@GarethNotGarth·2h

This is hilarious, after disappearing from Twitter when his grifting of hundreds of thousands of taxpayer money and his continual stealing of content, he’s back and straight away stealing content.

Anyone else suddenly fancy a Tunnock’s Teacake? #artemis

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·3h

@ohgawd20 Done

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Meh 🇺🇦@ohgawd20·3h

@SimonHarrisMBD Hi mate. I spoke to you on the QT on FB a while back about RL. Can you follow me back please so I can message you more juicy titbits? Muchos gracias. 😁

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

Also worth clarifying …

My main contact at ECC literally phoned me up one afternoon and asked if I would be willing to administer a £100k pot under ‘COMF’ (Contain Outbreak Management Fund) which was a Central Government fund ringfenced for tackling the pandemic. I should have looked into the mechanics of it all first because for this pot and some others, an entry went onto a public spending spreadsheet and simply said ‘Simon Harris’ and then a lump sum. Zero context, and dodgy as f*** to any outside observer. I should have refused. Simple as that. Regarding your other point, I would respectfully point out that the whole project was more than just knocking out Facebook posts, and it was independently evaluated by Meta, NIHR, NYU (The Gov Lab) and local Public Health officials. That being said, I don’t blame people for coming to that conclusion because this whole situation has been handled horrendously by all concerned, myself included.

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·3h

@On_The_Write Afraid not.

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On The Write@On_The_Write·3h

@SimonHarrisMBD I thought we'd got rid of you, sadly not.

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Mike Spilligan (RAF Retired) 🛠️✈️ Unvaxxed Legend@Mick_Spilligan

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·11h

I’d forgotten that this place was the true home of reasoned argument …

@SimonHarrisMBD Absolute fucking cunt

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·3h

@The__Sequel @Dangermous77971 @juice8882 @StupidNeilAgain @Singo831 That was one of the tamer ones …

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Saturn@The__Sequel·3h

@SimonHarrisMBD @Dangermous77971 @juice8882 @StupidNeilAgain @Singo831 Not sure how more emphatic "Absolutely not ..." could be as a response. Maybe he was influenced by fantasist accounts sharing lame manufactured images such as this?

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·3h

@Dangermous77971 @juice8882 @StupidNeilAgain @Singo831 No, I was not in any sort of relationship with the person you were referring to. I met her on ‘Day One’ of my working relationship with Essex County Council.

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Dangermouse1987@Dangermous77971·4h

@SimonHarrisMBD @juice8882 @StupidNeilAgain @Singo831 You still haven’t answered the main question.

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·3h

I think I covered a lot of it in this video - youtu.be/wnXYOH7e_QM?si… Apologies - it’s quite long. Also, I’m not sure why those evaluations are ‘meaningless’ either. They were mainly positive, right up to being asked to present the work to (then) Prince Charles at Meta HQ in London in March 2022. I will admit that an average of £96k per year over four years was possibly over ‘market rate’ or ‘average,’ but in my defence I was offered it and accepted it accordingly. I never made any sort of demand financially - each project was offered with a figure and I’m not sure that anyone else in my position would have queried it or asked for less. That’s the truth - and I’m aware that it’s unpalatable to hear for some, but it’s the truth nonetheless.

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JUICE@juice8882·4h

@SimonHarrisMBD @StupidNeilAgain @Singo831 "the whole project was more than just knocking out Facebook posts" OK describe? "and it was independently evaluated by Meta, NIHR, NYU (The Gov Lab) and local Public Health officials" That's meaningless, again do you think this work was worth 360k to your name YES or NO

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

@Dangermous77971 @juice8882 @StupidNeilAgain @Singo831 Absolutely not, and I’ve had to sit my wife down and explain why ai-generated images and videos of me and my contact doing adult things have been circulating. That was fun.

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Dangermouse1987@Dangermous77971·4h

@SimonHarrisMBD @juice8882 @StupidNeilAgain @Singo831 Weren’t you in a relationship with your main contact?

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

@EuropaIneffable Not sure what that has to do with my post but I do love a good bit of wordplay.

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Europa Ineffable@EuropaIneffable·4h

Greater Manchester Police are looking for a drag queen who robbed a local store. They say he's a local man with a Wigan address.

My main contact at ECC literally phoned me up one afternoon and asked if I would be willing to administer a £100k pot under ‘COMF’ (Contain Outbreak Management Fund) which was a Central Government fund ringfenced for tackling the pandemic. I should have looked into the mechanics of it all first because for this pot and some others, an entry went onto a public spending spreadsheet and simply said ‘Simon Harris’ and then a lump sum. Zero context, and dodgy as f*** to any outside observer. I should have refused. Simple as that. Regarding your other point, I would respectfully point out that the whole project was more than just knocking out Facebook posts, and it was independently evaluated by Meta, NIHR, NYU (The Gov Lab) and local Public Health officials. That being said, I don’t blame people for coming to that conclusion because this whole situation has been handled horrendously by all concerned, myself included.

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

My main contact at ECC literally phoned me up one afternoon and asked if I would be willing to administer a £100k pot under ‘COMF’ (Contain Outbreak Management Fund) which was a Central Government fund ringfenced for tackling the pandemic. I should have looked into the mechanics of it all first because for this pot and some others, an entry went onto a public spending spreadsheet and simply said ‘Simon Harris’ and then a lump sum. Zero context, and dodgy as f*** to any outside observer. I should have refused. Simple as that. Regarding your other point, I would respectfully point out that the whole project was more than just knocking out Facebook posts, and it was independently evaluated by Meta, NIHR, NYU (The Gov Lab) and local Public Health officials. That being said, I don’t blame people for coming to that conclusion because this whole situation has been handled horrendously by all concerned, myself included.

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JUICE@juice8882·4h

@SimonHarrisMBD @StupidNeilAgain @Singo831 How do you 'meekly agree' to adminster six figure sums, and you haven't addressed the other 360k you got for a dud facebook account

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

I’m not a victim at all, I’m just saying there’s a hell of a lot that has happened that either hasn’t been reported or ignored entirely. Vanishing off here for two years didn’t do me any favours in that respect, but I’ll always try and answer questions that are put to me respectfully. This is going to irritate a few people that have been banking on my silence over the last two years, but it is what it is.

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David P GCSE (multiple)@DavidPGCSE·4h

@SimonHarrisMBD @StupidNeilAgain @Singo831 Can't believe people haven't recognised the real victim here, you

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

@Dangermous77971 Just curious. Why would I return it when I fulfilled every contract that was given to me?

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Dangermouse1987@Dangermous77971·4h

@SimonHarrisMBD That’s why I said alleged…the difficulty and difference of knowing and proving…where is the money then? Circa £350k? Did you keep that or return that?

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·6h

Robert Jenrick’s latest rant is about London Zoo offering discounts for families on Universal Credit, adding that a Reform government would ‘put a stop to it.’ It’s going to be hilarious if it does happen, watching him rock up in Regent’s Park on Day One only to be told to ‘f**k off’ as the zoo is run by an independent charity.

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

@Heccles94 When are Labour going to realise that you can’t out-Reform Reform and you can’t out-Restore Restore. Just ghastly.

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Harry Eccles@Heccles94·4h

Whoever tweeted this should resign. You’re the home office not the Daily Express.

Home Office@ukhomeoffice

Asylum handouts and accommodation will be removed for illegal migrants who abuse Britain’s generosity.

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

@Dangermous77971 Could I have some proof of alleged embezzlement please? Cheers.

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Dangermouse1987@Dangermous77971·4h

@SimonHarrisMBD Imagine how many kids ECC could have sent to these kind of places with the 350k you allegedly embezzled into your own pockets…

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

It’s clearly Tony Angelino from Only Fools And Horses.

steve@bagshaw2112

I just don’t get this ? I can see Jeff Lynn from ELO 🤷🏻🤷🏻

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

Makes me feel slightly better now that I’m not the only target of this fuckwittery.

AliceInW8@AliceInW8

🎉🎉🎉 89,000 tweets from Cartland to date 🎉🎉🎉 It was 82,000 when I started calling him out in December 2025. 7,000 tweets in 4 months! 😱 "No your honour I don't provoke, agitate, bully, dox, threaten, verbally abuse or post disinformation, I'm an innocent victim" 🤷

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

This is probably a good point to emphasise to anyone who thinks I regret nothing. It’s just frustrating that Essex County Council’s official reporting of the whole fiasco states that they have no reason why this decision was taken (they’ve also deleted the relevant emails, which they could have easily obtained from myself and chose not to). essex.gov.uk/about-council/… Again. Utterly idiotic on my part and something I hold my hands up to. I also had no say in ECC deciding to publish a redacted version of the spreadsheet of subcontractors I supplied to them to protect the identity of many individuals who I was told to pay, which in turn has also amplified suspicion. Call me a **** if you want (like I have to give you all permission) but maybe have a look into what has been published on the matter as well.

Not arrogant at all. I’ve learned to never meekly agree to administer six-figure sums on behalf of a local authority and make payments to sub-contractors on their orders, thus allowing them to bypass procurement procedures and god knows how many other regulations and guidelines. Utterly idiotic on my part, and something I’ve held my hands up to on numerous occasions, even though nobody seems to want to listen to that bit for some reason.

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Simon Harris@SimonHarrisMBD·4h

Not arrogant at all. I’ve learned to never meekly agree to administer six-figure sums on behalf of a local authority and make payments to sub-contractors on their orders, thus allowing them to bypass procurement procedures and god knows how many other regulations and guidelines. Utterly idiotic on my part, and something I’ve held my hands up to on numerous occasions, even though nobody seems to want to listen to that bit for some reason.

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Neil@StupidNeilAgain·5h

@SimonHarrisMBD @Singo831 As arrogant as before, you’ve learned nothing. I look forward to your next inevitable downfall, I wonder what “issues” you’ll blame it on then. Off you pop now, I’m sure you’ve got some unbelievably twee shite you’re dying to post

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