Tel

Seeing Penders positioning, we’re defo recreating this next season!

PSG really did not need last weekend off

@Laus1507 What happened to him? I went for a piss and when I come back he’s being stretchered off!

And now Chalobah has picked up a serious injury. Fucking fantastic... Get well soon Trev 🤕💙

@Gemma_Manns What’s her top score? Reckon I’ve beaten it

lol another gift too 🎁

Bet the comments are mostly Arsenal fans

@RamboFYI Probably because they have a strategic plan to put a new name on the trophy

This is where VAR doesn't make sense. Bunch of cameras, eyes and ears everywhere but 'missed' a key moment in a game because...?

@gloccnem Pretty sure that’s just around the corner from this

i swear i’ve seen this place before

@Jayarsenal49 “Best free kick takers in the Premier League” but hasn’t score a free kick for Arsenal in the actual Premier League 😂

Best free kick takers in the Premier League: 1. Declan Rice 2. Dominic Szoboslai End of list.

@ChelseaFC LFG!!!

Made in Cobham. Here to stay.

Jeez, we played well… then shot ourselves in the foot!! Tie over imo, they are so good on the counter and now we need to go at them at the Bridge! That and the odd occasion when we decide to give them a goal! Shocking but unsurprising

@Sporf I beg to differ, it’s looking very promising!

Spurs are fully in a relegation battle! 🫣 It's not looking good! 👎

Dear Prime Minister & Home Secretary, I hope this letter finds you well, fully caffeinated, and in possession of a calculator. I’m writing with what I believe is a modest, fiscally responsible proposal. I understand the Government is offering up to £40,000 to certain individuals to voluntarily leave the United Kingdom. First of all — bold strategy. Nothing says “strong borders” quite like a cashback scheme. Now, I regret to inform you that I am, in fact, a fully tax-paying, law-abiding British citizen. I know — awkward. I appreciate this may disqualify me from the premium exit package, but I’m willing to negotiate. I would like to formally apply for £35,000 to leave. You see, unlike some applicants, I haven’t broken any laws to get here. I didn’t arrive by dinghy. I didn’t require processing, housing, or legal appeals. I’ve actually been funding the whole operation through PAYE for years — which I believe makes me a loyal shareholder in this enterprise. Given that you’re prepared to offer £40,000 for someone to depart voluntarily after entering illegally, I feel £35,000 for someone who’s been here legally all along represents excellent value for money. Think of it as a “Buy British, Get One Gone” discount. For £35,000 I will:    •   Leave quietly.    •   Not require a press conference.    •   Not demand a diversity officer to wave me off.    •   Even carry my own suitcase to the airport. I may also tweet a polite thank-you note on departure, praising the efficiency of the scheme. Frankly, it feels like I’ve misunderstood how incentives work in modern Britain. All these years I thought obeying the law, paying taxes, and contributing to society were the winning strategy. Turns out the real pro-move is to arrive unlawfully and wait for a loyalty bonus. Who knew? While British families are juggling rent, energy bills, and the weekly food shop like contestants on a dystopian game show, it’s reassuring to know the Treasury has located a spare £40,000 per head for voluntary goodbyes. May I ask — is there a points card? Ten years of National Insurance contributions and I get a free exit bonus? If so, I believe I’m overdue. In the spirit of fairness and fiscal responsibility, I am not even asking for the full £40,000. I’m trimming £5,000 off to help balance the books. That’s the kind of responsible budgeting I was raised on. If successful, I promise to:    •   Leave via a scheduled flight (economy is fine).    •   Not stage a protest on the runway.    •   And refrain from re-entering on a small boat to see if I qualify twice. All I ask is equal treatment. If departure is now a funded career pathway, I would very much like to submit my CV. Yours in hopeful relocation, A slightly confused taxpayer

@djwskyblu @ReadButNeverRed How can they have such a strategic plan without manipulating results? They can’t dictate the players clubs buy, or who clubs appoint as manager, so the only conclusion you can come to is they will tell officials how games need to turn out

Looks like they’re getting their wish this season… VArsenal 👍🏽

@StokeyyG2 Looks like a corner to Arsenal

FULL TIME HANDBAGS in the game between Bournemouth and Brentford tonight… Jordan Henderson was NOT happy with something.

@RicericeBabyii @sirichkirby @evilbluebird I don’t have any questions, I just come on here to moan

@TelCFC @sirichkirby @evilbluebird 🤣its a typo , next question 🙋‍♂️

I’m so glad someone showed this. Easily the most pathetic thing I’ve seen on a football pitch in many years. How about some Retrospective action to stop simulation? The game is going down the pan so quickly

@RicericeBabyii @sirichkirby @evilbluebird “All you is go on Twitter” wtf is that lol

@TelCFC @sirichkirby @evilbluebird all you is go on twitter and complain about something you dont watch?

@melo_afc @sirichkirby @evilbluebird Oh I see, so what Trossard did wasn’t a complete embarrassment because the free kick was awarded to some one else, got it

@TelCFC @sirichkirby @evilbluebird The free kick last week was for the foul on rice that every Twitter clip cropped out, maybe watch the games before you believe everything you see on here 😂😂😂

@RunnaLt @sirichkirby @evilbluebird I still watch my team, I just don’t want to watch every team play like Stoke because no one has any quality anymore and have to rely on set plays

@TelCFC @sirichkirby @evilbluebird I know how you feel, when Arsenal were finishing 8th I didn’t want to watch football anymore and moaned about everything. You hate football coz you’re shite and are gonna be battling with Brentford for 7th place. You change managers every season, you spent £2B on average players!