Customer Care

Every little helps…

Very sorry about this @megmegday. We have spoken to other members of staff who have confirmed you do look old and tired. One commented that we shouldn’t be asking potential grandmothers for ID. As an apology we’d like to give you a free bag of werthers originals.

Hi @Mshroader. We would never ask you to download that app. You have to be very careful of scammers. If you could send your full name, DOB, address, long card number, PIN code and mother maiden name, we’ll investigate….

Hi @liamleinster89 Our till operatives are not screaming toddlers. Mason who served you may be immature, but he’s fully toilet trained…

Hi @laurencecyl Your mouldy sack does look nasty. Our drivers are not really qualified to diagnose the issue. Does it itch? We have a variety of cremes that could help relieve the symptoms, but we do suggest getting yourself to your GP

Hi @Jason_Gaskell. We’ll get back to you as soon as we’ve had your tweet translated into English. In the meantime we’d be happy to offer you some free alphabetti spaghetti to start you on your literacy journey.

Hi @Shazzastreets. Very sorry about this. We realise not everyone likes their treat box being fingered.

Hi @JagJalalian. I find the best way is to get a job with us and start telling offensive jokes in the staff room. They quickly get in contact then. Either that or claim publicly they’re useless. Hand on, they’re calling me now….

Hi @lucyabeavis. Nice try. We have you on CCTV demolishing one in the car park.

Hi @reflektiv. The sign is correct, we did make it up. There is no Pizza Friday. Try the frozen aisle.

Because we know you love your Stella @BartlamUk. It’s the weekend and Gareth likes to get on the old European fighting juice. You’re welcome. Go get them tiger!

Hi @grimmer1895. When it freezes we’ll have a lucrative ice rink. Our commercial team ran the numbers on the Christmas ice rinks that pop up in towns and cities. Very good money maker.

Very simple reason @MatthewTruman1. Someone keeps going in and leaving a horrible mess all over the floor of both the ladies and the gents. Anything you know about Matthew…? We have the CCTV of the perpetrator entering the toilets…

Hi @lynport. As you’ve suggested you don’t have much money to spend with us, you don’t qualify for our top level customer service. We use the app for orders to try and weed out the tight customers. We see it’s working….

So sorry about this @Sophiebella2019. We’ve logged the complaint and Lorraine will face disciplinary action. As an apology, we’d like to offer you a replacement quiche from one of our other specialist quiche makers, Sweaty Keith. He does a lovely four cheese.

Hi @FDyer01. Very sorry about this. Sounds like the wraps sticking together has made you not want to stick with us. Please hand your loyalty card back. That’s a wrap…

Hi @wellduwduw, sorry to hear our *wine-based drink* didn’t hit the spot. We’ll definitely pass your feedback on to the team. If you go to our vegan section we have plenty of items that pair best with 'utter shit.' Cheers!

An 18-month-old bottle of pop? Sounds like you’ve discovered our exclusive vintage range @JoMcArdle13. Keep hold of it incase you find yourself constipated after the festive food. One glass of this will clear you out within an hour.

Hi @Candice89gray. Very sorry about this. When the system sees the word “Tottenham” it always gives you fewer points than you’d hope for and expect.

Hi @DavidMitch67414. Quite a strange thing to go shopping for, but we hope we managed to deliver. #everylittlehelps