Doug Bies

I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don't like

Your religion (pick one) is the reason this world is such a mess. Maybe you practice it "cleanly" but it's a construct intended to divide. The worst of your sect has made for incalculable damage across history and continues to do so

Religion is a mental illness Hoppy Easter

@WerewolfCat9 They are in need of professional help

@dougbies My drunk friend told me Jesus died for me last night. That was fun.

It should be illegal to force the hoax known as easter on underage children

Religion is not about gods, it’s about system of control of people.

If he is risen then where is he? 🤔 Doesn’t this ritual get boring every year, saying the same old stuff with no evidence? Look around the world; too much evil and destruction for there to be any basis for faith.

Religion is a Scam.

I actually don’t need Jesus. I prefer when he isn’t around.

I establish dominance at Wendy’s by dipping french fries in frostys

Douchebags in pickup trucks with aftermarket loud horns are elite losers

Adults that overuse the term “spooky” are the worst

I like to roll on squeaky toys

The 3 most BOGUS events in human history: 1. The birth of Jesus. 2. The death of Jesus. 3. The resurrection of Jesus. All this effort for a work of fiction, just to manipulate people

Maybe they think this is "winning” because they don't know what winning looks like because they're a bunch of fucking losers.

Zzzzzzzzz

I’ve reached the level of marriage where I don’t even need to speak. I just sigh and my husband instinctively starts apologizing for something he hasn't even thought of doing yet.

My husband and I are having a competition to see who can hide plastic eggs in the hardest spots. Loser has to cook and clean for a week. It’s been three days. He’s currently tearing the garage apart while I watch Netflix. I haven’t hidden a single egg.

Remember, the worst people you’ll ever meet sit in the front row at church.

Tully