Midwest Sober

Relearning my job every monday like adam sandler in 50 first dates

If you get hangovers it's because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt

I was driving today on a residential street in St B and clocked a random cat - he was running 35km/h… then I just looked this up lol

Got a lot of ice time today (drove 30km/h in a 110 for an hour because the highways were so bad)

Hate it when movies start on punk time

The amount of “hot” unopened Lego sets on fb marketplace right now is astounding

@kokanee8pack There is if you’re on untapped bro

british nihilist: life means fuck all. the blokes who invented it were having a laugh

Going fishing and all you catch is a tin can and a boot with the sole flopping open — doesn’t happen as much anymore

new guys me clocking in first day on everyday for the job 14 years

@ndjusticeforlol Bro I wore tons of sunscreen this week and still got cooked

Telling MyFitnessPal that I had 26 miller lites last night

@drhustlermd From the 1.5 second glimpse, it was in fact quite the opposite

@micro2thefuture was his shit fat?

Thinking of the guy at the gig last night standing beside me and when he tried to pull his phone to take a video of Still Fighting, he accidentally opened up his camera roll and it was all dick pics

the final boss of being a punk band from a non MTV Canadian city is opening for doa