ugh ™

lady at the grocery store looked at the cereal on the top shelf and then looked at me and im like use your words shorty

I don’t know what my spirit animal is, but I’m pretty sure it has a cone around its neck.

My wife and I were leaving for our night out. Our babysitter smiled and said, "Take as long as you like". That was three years ago. Hope she likes being a parent.

@loveherlethergo 🤣🤣🤣 keep going….

1930-1960's

@loveherlethergo dickens great expectations

@oconeebuildr What are you reading?

it’s not impossible to think about other things while reading a good book, but thankfully almost

@Fredzipfel no man knows how bad he is until he has tried very hard to be good. you find the strength of the wind by walking against it, not by lying down cs lewis

This is excellent

Every man is toxic once he stops tolerating female manipulation. Funny how that works.

If you replaced the Senate with 100 random plumbers. I bet the results for Americans would be better.

There is a species of ant that approaches the edge of another colony, kills a single worker, and then takes on the dead ant’s scent. For ants, scent is everything. Wearing that scent, the intruder walks in with no resistance. The workers pass by without concern. The intruder moves inward, toward the queen, then It sprays the queen with a different scent that makes the workers turn on her. Then they surround her and kill her. The intruder does not need to fight anyone. The colony does the work itself. Once the queen is gone, the intruder reproduces. The true invader is no longer an intruder. It is the future. This is how ideological takeover works. A destructive foreign ideology takes the scent of familiar ideas and walks in as if it belongs. It speaks the native vocabulary, justice, equality, compassion, rights, progress. It uses these words and quietly changes what they point to. Then it moves inward. It alters how foundations are perceived. Responsibility is made to smell like cruelty, law like oppression, borders like hatred, tradition like danger, history like guilt. At that point, the civilization turns on itself. Its courts, universities, churches, media, and bureaucracies begin treating their own foundations as threats. They believe they are defending the system. They are enforcing what now smells legitimate. They do not see the intruder because it sounds exactly like them. And when the founding principles are finally removed, discredited, dismantled, erased, the foreign ideology does not need to conquer anything. It inherits what is left. The queen is gone. The colony is no longer itself. The most effective conquest is the one that convinces a society that its own foundations are the enemy, and that killing them is an act of virtue.

This Tweet is good for one free passage through the Strait of Hormuz...

the grass is literally greener on the other side i can fucking see it

the fact I haven't died yet is solid evidence i'm the main character

@SleepEatScream @iGreenGod *watching the maple leafs lose in overtime* what about now? 🤣

@iGreenGod Super quiet

Question of the day: Are you a quiet or loud person?

“who hurt you?” me mf i fall in love with retards

@loveherlethergo nerdy “broke” librarian there, i fixed it

True story

If you tell me I arouse you, I assume you mean suspicion.

babe… u hardly touched my last nerve, are u ok?

If bartenders can go to jail for over-serving alcohol to someone who then kills another person, judges should go to jail for releasing criminals who do the same.