Jen

The ones who will actually show up for you are few and far between.

There’s someone, somewhere that’s just aching to take you to The Maldives. Rub your butt while feeding you grapes beachside and tell you how pretty you are. Accept no substitute.

Being a man is by birth and time, being a gentleman is a choice.

I have a terrible habit of leaving things unsaid for the sake of peace.

Spending money on disappointing food is a different kind of pain .

Usually my first thought after venting is “I really should have just kept that to myself”.

You know you have reached middle age when your last Amazon purchase was vitamins. 😂

October is when I feel more alive.

All about the vibes

Forever daydreaming and disassociating

When people ask me advice about directions, I’m thinking don’t ask me. I’ll get both of us lost. 😂🤣

You can tell a lot about a woman by how quickly she produces pepper spray.

Sometimes you gotta look at your grammar mistake shrug and say welp I'm a dumbass

It's cute your child is 31 months old. I'm 735 months old. Not so cute.

“Wake me up before you go-go,” she carelessly whispered

I like 'em feisty...

Well, by the smell of things, that cardboard under the pizza should be just about done.

A shared playlist would fix me.

The tension of living in my brain.

We are broken but don’t shatter.

Len’s “If You Steal My Sunshine” but it’s “If You Steal My French Fries”