Chip Roberts

.@MPMackMacKenzie You'll regret that, buddy.

@LilimaeClements *KA-SPLAT*

@LilimaeClements Go ahead. Make my day!

@LilimaeClements Stay out of this, Lilimae. You don't know as much as you think you do.

@LilimaeClements Ha! Do you think I'm that stupid? I'm not telling them anything.

@Nick___Morrison Guilty. Look at his face. Now that is the face of a guilty man.

@DianaFairgate OHHHHH, PLEEEEEASE STAAAAY BY ME, DIANAAAA!!!

@DianaFairgate I do, sweetheart, I do! Let's get married tonight. We'll go to Vegas!

@DianaFairgate No, of course not, sweetheart! But your threat relates to what I have to tell you. See...I killed Ciji. But I did it for you!

@DianaFairgate Diana, we have to talk.

@DianaFairgate Sure, honey! I'm indestructible. But I'd love to get this pitchfork out of my chest. I can't fit through doorways anymore.

@Gianni862 @jmesposito I'm honored!

@Cathy_Geary AHHHHH!!! *falls on pitchfork*

@CijiDunne HA! I don't believe in ghosts.

@michaelsabatino Michael! It's your old friend, Chip!

Going to the album party for @CijiDunne! I hope to see you all there.

Shit...how do you delete a tweet?

Chip has checked in at Burger King, 208 Fresno Drive, Knots Landing, CA. (via LOCATION BOT).

@DianaFairgate Sweetheart, if you're dreaming, then I'm having the same dream! This is going to be the beginning of a whole new life for us.

@chrisp2607 HA! That old bitty can't destroy me. I've outrun the law; I've survived spoiled bologna sandwiches and sweltering desert heat.