HighTide

@tezah__ He got smoked.

How in gods name is ishowspeed step for step with Devonta Smith

@LoraleeLogan Sadly no. This is what any can of Campbell's soup costs. In Florida, anyway.

@HighTide_OTSS Whoa! Do they charge extra for less sodium? I haven't priced soup lately.

Post a photograph you've personally taken but never posted before. Can be anything! #NeverBefore

@JFrankensteiner You're doing it wrong. It's a good system

Every time I make a Sunday Sauce, I think about how it doesn't matter how thin you slice it, garlic will not liquify in a pan with a little bit of oil, and that Henry Hill, if you could believe it, was not being totally honest when said that shit

@AnnCoulter Yeah, no. This ain't it

If only we could wave a wand and make him president!

@alt_w_v_g 62 bucks a month for 3 years for a warranty on a 500 dollar dish washer. You sure showed them.

The dishwasher broke My wife said "good thing we have the home warranty" I said nothing I've been paying $62 a month for three years for this moment $2,232 for the peace of mind that when something breaks someone will come to the house and tell me it's not covered I called 47 minutes on hold They sent a technician Arrival window: Tuesday through Thursday between 8am and 5pm My analyst delivers faster than that And he still hasn't fixed the gridlines He showed up Wednesday at 4:47pm Looked at the dishwasher Opened the door Closed the door Touched something underneath Said "not covered" 90 seconds That's faster than my bank lets me prove I'm human I said "what's covered" He said "the motor" I said "what's wrong with it" He said "not the motor" I said "convenient" He said the service fee is $75 I paid a man $75 to open my dishwasher, close my dishwasher, and say two words My analyst could do that And he's not even that good I called the warranty company back 38 minutes on hold Requested the policy 129 pages I read all 129 pages Because that's what I do The coverage section is 34 pages The exclusions section is 58 The business model is right there In the margins Where nobody reads Except me Page 91 says "all mechanical and electrical components essential to appliance function are covered under standard service" Page 104 excludes control panels A control panel is an electrical component essential to appliance function Their own document contradicts itself 13 pages apart I highlighted both Sent them an email Subject line: "Plz fix. Thx." Attached both pages No other context Took them three days to send a technician Took them 4 hours to call me back when I found the loophole Funny how that works They covered the repair Waived the $75 And I canceled the warranty anyway Because a contract that contradicts itself isn't a contract It's a suggestion My wife said "so we're canceling" I said "we're canceling" She said "and the dishwasher" I said "fixed. They're covering it." She said "how" I said "I read the policy" She said "all 129 pages" I said "the exclusions section starts on page 47. The coverage section ends on page 34. There are 13 pages between them where they hoped nobody would look." She looked at me Then she said "you're unbelievable" I said "I just saved us $744 a year and got a free dishwasher repair. I'm not unbelievable. I'm thorough." She looked at the ceiling The dishwasher works now The warranty is canceled And the policy has been read By at least one person Probably the first Make common sense common again Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

@BladeoftheS The bunny opened the grave and let him out. Read the Bible

Please can anybody complaining about Easter not being on Easter eggs, please tell me which point in the Easter story is about chocolate eggs. I've forgotten was it the wise men Cadbury and Nestle who delivered them?

@GeraldoRivera Is it crazy? Really? You have enabled the Pedo in Chief for too long. When all is said and done, you will judged along side him.

It is fucking crazy that our longtime friend and NATO ally Denmark felt it necessary to send troops to Greenland to help prepare defenses against the United States.

@RealFletch17 So Batman is Jesus? The fuck, bro?

Ever hear of the Batman effect?

@jared_shult How is that more ridiculous than anything else?

The fact that Mormons believe Jesus came to America is still mind boggling to me

@BenGrahamUK Christians claiming persecution is ridiculous.

Britain has been a Christian nation for over 1,400 years. Through wars, plagues, and countless kings, Easter has always been celebrated. Yet now, Cadbury won’t even use the word ‘Easter’ on their eggs. When did celebrating British traditions become controversial?

@_iamlougotti Why do you hate America?

Seinfeld, Friends (minus the theme song), Ozark, Always Sunny Which popular shows you never cared for??

Show me a photo you took of someone looking at you.👀

@lizzkelly7 Another!

What if death sat beside you, sharing your favorite drink, and quietly whispered: “You’ve done enough. Finish your glass-it’s time to go.” What would you say?

@kevin_smith45 Your boy raped children

For all the people upset at how Donald Trump responded to Robert Mueller dying… That’s what happens when you try and throw someone and their ENTIRE FAMILY in jail for absolutely no reason.

@dantypo Your boy was a kiddie raper. Funny that you find it easy to put yourself in his shoes.

I agree that Trump’s send off to Mueller was crass and unnecessary. But I defy you to think of the worst person in your life and say something good when they die. A husband who hurt you. An ex that lied about you. A business partner that ruined you. A fender-bender that tried to sue you into oblivion. It’s easy to say “you shouldn’t” when you’ve never been. Imagine you worked your way to the highest position on Earth and then a man knowing it was all BS spent 12 months summoning you and everyone you know before prosecution trying to create a truth that’s all lies. So yeah, putting myself in his shoes, I’d find grace a little hard to pin point.

@EvanAKilgore Your boy is a kiddie raper, sporto.

Robert Mueller was a terrible human being. He led a witch hunt against President Trump. He put Trump's family though hell. But, President Trump should know better than to celebrate his opponents death. Not a good look and is fuel for the Left. Thoughts?

@PrimeTruths @NancyMace Fuck off

@NancyMace Mark my words, she’ll lose her next election, become best friends with MTG, go through the car wash of lib/TDS media (View, Megyn Kelly, Tucker, CNN, Candace). Tell everybody how noble she was and only lost bc “she speaks the truth”. Bookmark it!

Our motion to subpoena Attorney General Pam Bondi has passed. She will testify under oath on the DOJ’s handling of the Jeffrey Epstein investigation. I have spent my career standing with survivors. That does not stop here.

@clerpatriot Not at all surprised. It's what narcissistic psychopaths do. Very on brand.

How do you feel about Trump celebrating Robert Mueller’s death?

@OCpatriot_ Because they just straight up ripped off star wars

Shower thought. In Top Gun: Maverick, if they knew where all the SAM emplacements were, why didn't they Tomahawk or HARM missile all of them along the teams' ingress and egress corridors?