jockularity

@Baddiel The sheer number of these no-mark back benchers tweeting nationalist bullshit like this is staggering. My own representative posted some crap about the British public being offended that Merkel refused to speak to Johnson

Daniel is an MP. He is in a position of power and influence. Isn't that mind-boggling?

@10DowningStreet Sounds good to me. Would you recommend hiding in a fridge for the whole period?

From Thursday 5 November until 2 December, you must stay at home. For more information on the new measures watch our video or visit: gov.uk/coronavirus

@realDonaldTrump You truly are a fucking idiot. America has a chance of being great again and being a force for good in the wider world when you're kicked out of the White House and in an orange jumpsuit

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

@Conservatives I'd rather shit in my hands, clap, then eat a packet of crisps than contribute money to Tory coffers

📞... Join us at #CPC20 ➡️ conservatives.com/conference

@Conservatives 1. Cunt 2. Cunt 3. Cunt 4. Cunt 5. Cunt 6. Cunt 7. Cunt 8. Cunt 9. Cunt 10. Cunt 12. Cunt 13. Cunt 14. Cunt 15. Cunt 16. Cunt 17. Cunt 18. Cunt 19. Cunt 20. Cunt

As it's #WorldEmojiDay, can you guess the Conservative MPs? 1. ☕️⛪️⛰ 2. 🐘🦦🏭🔥 3. D🐓🗓✌️👦 4. ✍️🧭🌲 5. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿👨 6. 🎽🍺🏠 7. 😄🕺🌊 8. 💄📮🐘 9. 🚾🖋🌹 10. ✍️🐾🌊 11. 🍅👛🧤 12. 📝🍋 13. 🇩🇴🦁B 14. 🛷🦭 15. 🍅🛥️🔚🎩 16. 🇧🇯🧱🎾 17. 🪙⚓️🐜 18. 👩‍⚕️🧎🌉 19. 🥔💳🔪 20. 👨🏙🦌🇨🇳

@TVNaga01 I thought your shoes were awesome this morning x

Oh Paul...

So excited. There's only three more COVID19 spikes till Christmas

@SusanCalman I was going to use one of those, but then I remembered I was an Ultravox fan so decided against it

Filming. Midge net deployed in between takes because sometimes no amount of repellent can stop them biting. Channelling Marlene Dietrich because I’m all about the glamour. I know. It’s like we’re twins.

@JohnCleese The Washington Orange Bell-ends

I'm inviting suggesions for the re-naming of the Washington R......s I'd like to throw the following into the hat: Washington Lobbyists Washington Disembowellers George's Poppets Washington Woodenteeth Washington Squawfuckers Washington DC/AC Washington Yankees

It's the first time he's admitted to anything BBC News - Coronavirus: PM admitted to hospital over virus symptoms bbc.co.uk/news/uk-521771…

I was in Smiths earlier and bought this new magazine #coronaUK #coronapocalypse #selfisolate #COVIDー19

See you later Wakefield 👍❤️@JockularityWf #comedy #wakefield #standupcomedy

Sage advice #coronavirus #COVID19 #handwashing

It's the second Tuesday of the month tomorrow, so it's time for Wakefield's favourite comedy night, Jockularity at @JollyTap on Northgate. Show starts at 9, Bring beed money and don't forget your laughing trousers. @Visit_Wakefield @artwalkwake @WakeExpress

I’m posting this again because I find it deeply troubling; a buried paragraph in Con manifesto basically saying if they win they have a blank cheque to change EVERYTHING. Mustn’t happen. Why is no one challenging them on what this paragraph means?

@GregHands What sort of weaker are we talking here? Half sentence served and released to perpetrate a terrorist attack weaker?

Here’s Corbyn wanting *weaker* sentences for terrorists.

@Conservatives You cut 21000 police. We'll still be 1000 down, you bunch of useless wankers

We’re backing our police: ✔️ 20,000 new police officers on the streets ✔️ Stop and search powers ✔️ Tougher sentencing for the most serious crimes #BBCDebate

@Conservatives @BorisJohnson The man who murdered two people on London Bridge on Friday was imprisoned and released under a Conservative government after serving half his sentence.

Jeremy Corbyn and Labour are weak on law and order, weak on sentencing. @BorisJohnson: "[Violent offenders] must serve every day of their sentence, with no exceptions"

@Conservatives You're showing footage of a debate your leader was too much of a coward to attend. You shower of utter wankers

They will take our country back to square one. Only a Conservative majority will get the job done 🗳 #VoteConservative

@DecathlonUK is this really the best way to promote women's involvement in sport? Perhaps you need to reconsider this on you website @MaryCreaghMP