Lionel Hutz, Esquire

@KeithMcCullough @GandalfObiewan @Hedgeye FACT: If someone a big enough of a douche to you what he’s ‘worth’, cut that number in half for the approximate truth.

@GandalfObiewan @Hedgeye Nah, I’m worth maybe $1.2 million little buds , but I’m working hard eh

I’ve spent 24 years perfecting my investing process for family and clients. I’m sharing that blueprint—for FREE. Download my new 52-page eBook today: info.hedgeye.com/keith-master-t… It's called, “Master the Market: A Hedge Fund Manager's Guide to Process and Profit." Whether you’re new to investing or a seasoned pro, this guide will help sharpen your skills and elevate your game. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

@trump_dona19543 Bitch, you didn’t do shit. Shut the fuck up.

Well I just got The Bachelorette canceled for the season. 💀 You’re welcome, America 🇺🇸

@trump_dona19543 Lots of hookers are attractive. They still have STDs. 🤷‍♂️

DO you think Melania Trump is attractive?

@BigBlueKY22 @17straight_17 @TMZ Your parents should be ashamed of your inability to conjugate verbs and your aversion to reading.

@17straight_17 @Letrow499379 @TMZ Queer a 3 dollar bill. You should be ashamed of yourself, just like your parents are of you

Missing Alabama student Jimmy Gracey's wallet was found in an Ocean near where he vanished in Barcelona. Everything we know: tmz.me/39GN6XB

@Daniel625628417 @TexasMBB @MVokietaitis8 Sorry, Daniel. I left my fourth grade grammar decoder glasses in the car. I just can’t with you. Good night.

@Letrow499379 @TexasMBB @MVokietaitis8 Told you soon as byu went on run refs quickly stopped that but I’m more than good WTH that

throw it down @MVokietaitis8 ‼️ #AlwaysCompete | #HookEm

@Thekingjames68 @hinds_mela61795 Dana White is sort of a hero in MMA…

@hinds_mela61795 No hero’s of any sort are in the picture.

Give me a Thumbs-Up 👍 if you support this American Hero!

@hinds_mela61795 Why do you think Dana White is a hero? Great fight promoter, but “hero” is a bit of a stretch…

@gtconway3d My wife is a teacher of 20 years. I don’t mean to be that guy, but your teacher probably assigned that same topic every year for a few decades. Sweet of her to write you back, though.

And not only did my sixth-grade teacher write me back, she still remembered the topic she had assigned me to write about 44 years earlier!!

I had the privilege of speaking to some wonderful NYC public schoolteachers today and it reminded me of this correspondence I had seven years ago with an amazing educator who taught me skills as a kid in 1975 that remained invaluable to me as an adult in 2019 ...

@Daniel625628417 @TexasMBB @MVokietaitis8 I read that twice and I still don’t know what the fuck you’re on about, Daniel. I think you’re whining about the refs, but I’m not sure. Are you drunk? What’s with the ALL CAPS?

@Letrow499379 @TexasMBB @MVokietaitis8 Thank about It u have 2 SEC REFS ANS ONE BIG EAST THEY WONT LET TEXAS LOSE THIS GAME I PROMISE YA SO WE HAVE DONE WON THIS GAME ITS OVER ROB WRIGHT GOT MURDERED AND THEY DIDNT CALL A THANF HE GOT RAN OVER AND NOTHING THERE GUY LOOKED AT SWAIN WRONG HE PICKED UP A FOUL 2 free shot

@UTBarstool Mark sucker punched those boys and walked off the court, smiling. Let’s go!

Longhorns lead at half 47-36 Couldn’t have asked for a better start

@jalenpolobrown @orangebloods_ Bro just sucker-punched those fools and walked off the court laughing. Let’s go! Hook em!

Texas: 46 BYU: 37 Halftime | #Hookem

@Daniel625628417 @TexasMBB @MVokietaitis8 No answer for #3, though. He looks like Carmelo Anthony, circa ‘03 out there. This is going to be a close game. Promise

@TexasMBB @MVokietaitis8 Insane I have never seen. A game so one sided in favor us like this is bad but I like it byu getting hosed asf

@TexasMBB @MVokietaitis8 Bro is growing up right before our eyes. This is not the player we knew in October.

@TexasMBB @RealBuckets11 Dybantsa is Carmelo Anthony SCARY. Thank God we can score against this team. Gonna be a barn burn at the rest of the way.

T Mark ties his career high 3 blocks 🤘 #HookEm | @RealBuckets11

@pete65796814965 @GovPressOffice Oh…you went there. Dang, bro. Not saying you don’t have a point…

@GovPressOffice @AntiToxicPeople It’d be more believable if there was a 14-year-old girl under the box, but I understand your reserve…

@TMZ Who?

Afroman Says He Forgives Ohio Cops But He'll Still Perform Songs Bashing Them tmz.me/2Ptob8h

@esj2525 @thejackhopkins You’re pretty smart for a Bama fan. 😉

@thejackhopkins He is indeed.

Among veterans, there’s a pretty well-known rule: when someone starts bragging about all the “crazy” shit they’ve done, but the moment you ask for details, they hide behind, “It’s classified, I can’t talk about it,” they’re usually full of shit. Markwayne Mullin is full of shit.

@ShawnForGeorgia @cwebbonline If I lived there, I’d vote for you. I just don’t think the math is in your favor. Not in that district.

This district has been written off for years. But we’re building something different, with real momentum and support across Northwest Georgia. My opponent is focused on answering to Trump. I’m focused on the people here. That’s the choice. #GA14 READ MORE: ajc.com/politics/2026/…

@FEMLFM @NewsHour This is excellent reporting. You’re just dumb.

@NewsHour As a long time, supporter of PBS reading, your recent headlines is making me not feel bad that you’ve lost funding.

Will President Donald Trump put U.S. troops on the ground in Iran to secure some 970 pounds of enriched uranium that Tehran could potentially use to build nuclear weapons? to.pbs.org/4uDWptR