OregonWolf@WhitewolfOr7
Ohhh, look at Governor Kotek gracing us peasants with another poetic masterpiece: “Cherry blossoms are in full bloom, making this one of the prettiest times of year to get outside and enjoy Oregon.”
Bravo, Tina. Truly the Shakespeare of state-funded PR fluff.
While you’re out there romantically gazing at pink petals like it’s a Hallmark movie, the rest of us in Portland are dodging open-air drug markets, stepping over fresh human feces on the sidewalk, and praying our catalytic converter isn’t the next victim of the nightly smash-and-grab symphony. But sure, let’s all pause for a collective “awww” at nature’s beauty. Because nothing says “strong leadership” like posting flower pics while your capital city resembles a post-apocalyptic flea market.
Here’s a real question for our cherry-blossom-obsessed governor: when are you finally gonna drop the act, build a 30-foot wall around the State Capitol, slap a giant neon “ADMISSION: $45 – No Refunds, No Service to Taxpayers” sign on it, and start charging people to enjoy your little taxpayer-subsidized Instagram moment?
Because at this point, that’s the only way regular Oregonians are ever gonna get close to anything resembling “pretty” in Salem without needing a hazmat suit and a tetanus shot.
Keep flooding our feeds with these deep, soul-stirring nature updates, Governor. Meanwhile, the rest of us will be over here trying not to get carjacked on our way to work so we can pay the highest taxes in the nation to fund… more flower photo ops.
#WeLoveOregon365? Nah.
#WeLoveOregonWhenItWasntARunningJoke
Stay classy, Salem. The petals are falling, the crime stats aren’t, and the governor’s still cosplaying as a travel influencer.