Tim Merklinger Parody

@BamaSaltyMarine I’m to old to carry a cop so…

Having a gun ise 1000% faster than 911 and waiting.

Hospice?

@SimianWrench @Amer1can_Barbie I miss Paul.

@Amer1can_Barbie I want to see a Paul Harrell meat target test of this.

Accurate

@LuckyMcGee @BrunusCutis RIGHT?!

@BrunusCutis Now I will ONLY tweet from the toilet. 👍🏼

If you read the TOS, you'd know that you gave X permission to access your camera roll and your camera. Now that you know, will you still tweet from the toilet??

@johnrich @MarineW60461 @Ford FKM

This is one of the BIGGEST SCAMS, and no one talks about it. You buy a truck, but you're not allowed to fix it because "You could get hurt?" So instead, they force you to bring it in so they can "fix" it, which is 10 times more expensive than if you did it yourself. @Ford

LIVE SPACES IN ONE HOUR. 6PM EASTERN 4PM MOUNTAIN ONE HOUR EARLIER TONIGHT FOR THE UFC/WHITE HOUSE

🚨 Wanna puke? Wanna see what $1.3 BILLION every single year in federal funding produces at the University of Michigan? Check out this genius. You're funding this campus with your tax dollars. University of Michigan's "lecturer" Andrew Thompson teaches art. Nothing says "Van Gogh expert" like this slob. When he's not talking about ART, he's rushing to the courthouse to "stand in solidarity" with 8 federally indicted students who are charged with making death threats and attacks on his colleagues. 8 pro-Hamas students unleashed a violent campaign against the University of Michigan's Board of Regents for their failures to divest from Israel. They attacked and vandalized their homes with graffiti, threw firebombs through their windows where their children were sleeping, threatened to poison one of them, threatened to drive their cars through their homes, and threatened to murder a government witness. Thompson said he felt the students who were arrested are being subjected to discipline more than other students at U of M who have protested in the past. "I’m tired of the Palestinian exemption. This is a First Amendment issue." This is a taxpayer-funded employee who thinks students should be allowed to publicly say that they want to slowly poison and kill a university official because they support Israel. I have one question: Where the F**K is our Education Secretary? @EDSecMcMahon

Term limits.

@RCJdpoctner The usual fucktards.

🚨 BREAKING: The US Senate has just REJECTED the SAVE America Act as part of budget reconciliation, 48-50 — would've required voter ID and proof of citizenship nationwide REPUBLICAN NAYs: Thom Tillis, Lisa Murkowski, Mitch McConnell and Susan Collins UNBELIEVABLE!!

@BamaSaltyMarine You’ll get her through this.

@mitchellvii But Trump!

So if gas is $2 a gallon, what will Democrats have to run on?

Paul Pelosi took out two PPP COVID relief loans for $711,708 and $996,392. Both were forgiven.

@BernieSanders Oh fuck if either your bs.

The Pentagon, despite a $1 trillion budget, is full of waste, fraud and abuse. It is, in fact, the only federal agency that can’t pass an independent financial audit. And now Trump wants $500 billion more in military spending. CONGRESS MUST JUST SAY NO.

Ford CEO Jim Farley says people should not be able to work on their own cars and make person repairs He says it’s just too complicated and you could “get hurt” Ford makes over $50 billion dollars per year from their service and repair departments. Thats the real reason they design vehicles so complicated you can’t repair them on your own and need special equipment

Earlier today, I was told there was a lot of controversy over John Bolton going to prison because he was too old. I guess I’m so old. I remember when she was still a senator at 89.

All the people crying about Musk's money are being awfully quiet about all the multi-millionaires playing basketball for a living.🤔

@HillaryClinton Ma’am, I was the Air Force Lt. Colonel who carried the nuclear football for your husband inside that “people’s house” you’re suddenly so precious about. I saw it all up close for two years. While Bill was getting blow jobs in the Oval Office from an intern and groping female Air Force enlisted crew on Air Force One, you and your staff treated the military with open disdain, like we were the help, not the men and women sworn to protect this nation. The disrespect for anything non-Clinton was palpable. You lecture about “respect for the institution” while your husband lost the nuclear codes and shrugged it off. And when you finally slinked out in 2001? You and your crew trashed the place—vandalism, theft, glue in drawers, obscene messages, stolen property, and filth left behind for the next administration. The GAO confirmed it. Classy exit from the “people’s house.” The White House belongs to the American people, not your grifting dynasty. They just elected a fighter who actually respects the military and the office. Keep ripping off poor kids in Haiti, selling your merch and clutching pearls. Sit down, bitch. The adults are back in charge.

@TiffMoodNukes That’s awesome!!

Sober Birthday Today! 🎉 Twenty-one years ago today, I ended my relationship with alcohol It was poisoning me. It was deceiving me. It was controlling me I was addicted to a dangerous companion that held a power over my life I didn’t fully recognize. Alcohol is often referred to as “spirits,” and for many, it can lead into places of darkness, despair, and self-destruction One morning, while sober and deeply dissatisfied with the reflection staring back at me, I looked into the mirror and made a life-changing decision. Instead of turning to alcohol, I turned to Spirit I meditatively prayed: “I am listening. Guide me. I am ready to change. I am ready for healing, purpose, and happiness” With unwavering determination, faith, and guidance through God’s Word, I chose a different path I confided in only a handful of trusted people as I began my journey. Some friends and even family members stopped inviting me out because I was no longer their “drinking party girl.” There were moments of temptation. There were tests and challenges. But I refused to return to the darkness, recklessness, and emptiness I had left behind I took it one day at a time, moment to moment Just four months later, I had lost 19 pounds, was exercising four days a week, and had started a small business. I looked and felt damn good ya’ll! More importantly, I had reclaimed my life And I have remained sober ever since I did it! ❤️ If sharing my story helps even one person who is struggling with addiction, then it is worth telling Today, I pray for everyone fighting the battle of addiction—the demonic winnable war within May God speak to your heart, and may you have the courage to listen There is hope. There is healing. There is freedom One. Day. At. A. Time. 🙏🏾🪷

Hoover Institution's Scott Atlas says he was in a meeting with Anthony Fauci during Covid He says Anthony Fauci’s goal was to make the public as afraid as possible so we would listen to mandates “Dr. Fauci at one point leaned over this sort of oval conference table and said, "One of the problems is the public is not afraid enough." And I was shocked to hear something like this. And I interrupted. I said, "Can you repeat that?" Dr. Fauci said, "That's the problem. The people are not afraid enough, so they won't listen."” “That's unethical. That's not the way public health is supposed to be done. It's unethical, in my opinion, to use fear in an emergency to manipulate people” - Being apart of releasing a virus that causes a global pandemic is crimes against humanity - Crimes against humanity can’t be pardoned - Multiple life sentences is the historical punishment

@Sassafrass_84 Oh HELL NAWE!

I cook dinner. I put food away. I wash dishes. My daughter cooks a separate dinner. Feeds her friends leave the dishes. I wash dishes. Put dishes away. I just finished cleaning the kitchen again at 2:30 am. After cleaning it twice today. I feel like this is completely ass backwards?!?