David Anders

dog vonn it

My fave Chuck Norris joke: Chuck doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it.

CHUCK NORRIS will be a huge miss but the Walker Texas Ranger/Conan O'Brian bit is immortal.

@LePapillonBlu2 Never made a woman cum says what?

Trump: on being asked to explain 5,000 Marines. “Hush. Did you not see my TruthSocial post? Careful, obnoxious lady. That is one strike towards a treason charge. Don’t even look at me with those glaring eyes. Tom, go head.”

Never once has this “man” made a single person cum

In 2015 and 11 Years Ago, #iZombie premiered on @TheCW on this day RT and Like if you love and miss this show. (@imrosemciver, @malcolmjgoodwin, #RahulKohli, @robertbuckley, @QuestionAnders, @alyandaj, @robert_knepper, #BryceHodgson, @RobThomas, @rugz19, @danetheridge,

📺Today TV History: I ZOMBIE #iZombie Premiered 2015 @TheCW Starring @imrosemciver @malcolmjgoodwin #RahulKohli @robertbuckley @QuestionAnders #AlyMichalka #BryceHodgson About bit.ly/1v85Tuv

@danielledsouzag Your math is worse than the hitler of the aids

The Oscars, which mocked Turning Point USA’s Super Bowl halftime show, got lower ratings than the TPUSA halftime show. TPUSA’s Halftime Show got 25 million household views. The Oscars got 17.9 million views. The American people are done being lectured by out-of-touch elites.

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

High Point student radio call of the game is what it is all about

Some days it’s your turn…

@MarioNawfal Maher & You both are coward twats

🚨🇺🇸 Bill Maher is done with Sean Penn's selective outrage. You'll fly to Havana and Caracas to break bread with communist dictators but won't sit down with your own president? The left eating itself continues.

An honor to be reunited with my mentor, Jim Downey.

Genius

let me get this straight a team will not be playing in the FIFA World Cup because they are currently being bombed by the FIFA Peace Prize winner

The funniest bit Conan ever did as an award show host

#Skol like a mufucker is Nicholas Swardson

What a walking fart in a skin suit of a twat fuck cunt

@ChrisCuomo Jesus fuck, man. You’ve come a long way since being a terrible tan on a respectable-ish network to… “Dude I’d fight ON sight in ANY Claim Jumper I sees you on the island…” Love to say we had a good run but…you’ve been a cunt since you sluiced out of one.

You are using the wrong word...the admin is deadly serious and has a focus and ambition I have not seen...you just do not like it. I get it...but do not underrate the intentionality.

Steph watching Ant heat up with 9 straight 👀 His 20 points have the Wolves up at half!