Labour In Scotland (parody)

We thought Richard's interview went rather well today!

FWIW, it was so kind of @SkyNews to fabricate a quote to make it look like he got the FM's name right.

Our Head Office absolutely, definitely knows what's best for Scotland - behold! as a shadow cabinet member demonstrates his encyclopaedic knowledge by namechecking First Minister... *watches clip* ...oh. Oh no.

Management update: yes, it's a year late and we must apologise profusely...the last two years sort of fell into a rift in the space-time continuum. Anas Sarwar has been our Branch Office High Heidyin since 27th February 2021:

The rest, as they say, is history. We became a Branch Office of the Labour Party with no autonomy of our own, and we continue to work hard to prevent the devolution of further powers to the Scottish Parliament. The current leader of our wee branch office is Richard Leonard:

Did you know, the Scottish Labour Party was once an actual political party, from 1888-1895? Everyone already knows about Keir Hardie, but he wasn’t the only socialist on the block...so here’s a wee thread. Meet another one of the founders: Robert Bontine Cunninghame Graham

We knew we'd seen a similar logo before but couldn't mind where, so we gave it the thumbs-up anyway...what was the worst that could possibly happen? The promise of an extra packet of Abernethy biccies in the tearoom next week persuaded Jean to tell us, and OH NOOOOOoooOo

@shaun30629049 @meljomur @UKLabour Brilliant, isn't it?

@meljomur Thanks for making are point @ScotlandLabour @UKLabour getting closer to independence

Does SNP and Scotland bashing actually play well with an English audience? And if it does, this makes a further argument for Scottish independence.

Ambition; just not too much. Home Rule; with no explanation of what this would actually entail other than our standard empty soundbites. Love it, Richard...you're doing a great job of attracting voters back to us - you'll be moving in to Bute House before you know it! 💪

Translation: Just hing oan for another five years while we try to get into government at Westminster, Scotland.

We did such a brilliant job with women's pay equality when we ran Glasgow City Council! We don't recommend Googling it, however.

Hi @MarkDrakeford, we'd love it if you could find some time to have a wee chat with our manager @LabourRichard about this, as it's a concept he generally struggles to understand.

Well, this is awkward.

Not guilty, but we’ll take the credit for it 👍

We do apologise for the attitude of our somewhat repetitive and ill-informed 'leader', who seems to have forgotten about the vote in favour of a second referendum in the Parliament he sits in. This is so embarrassing.

Little reminder Amber Rudd has been both Home Secretary & SoS for Work & Pensions. She's sat tight and voted along with her party through Windrush, Austerity deaths, PIP, UC, WASPI, EU citizens uncertainty etc. Her final straw was Tory MPs being badly treated.

RICHARD! We’re so glad to see you, we were worried. This must be your statement about the prorogation of parliament and democracy being buried in a lead-lined...oh.

Oh god, the general manager’s on his way to Fife and we still haven’t found Richard. Batten doon the hatches.

@PBleater @lumi_1984 We've no idea either - we just found his name and picture on some old campaign literature.

@ScotlandLabour @lumi_1984 Never seen him before in my life. Who is he? What does he do?

Our Branch Office leader is missing. His name is Richard. We don’t think anyone’s noticed his absence yet. Have you seen Richard?

@ChildOfAlba @wimthetim Isn't it wonderful how absolutely pointless we are up here?

@ScotlandLabour @wimthetim Don’t think anyone noticed or cared what he thought about anything to be honest. 🤷‍♂️😂😂😂

If you happen to see Richard, please don’t try to interview him - he’s awfully skittish. If would be great if you could let him know his tea’s oot though.

@Raibeartmac1 @WingsScotland @lumi_1984 That’s no way to talk about Ralf.