ShanMan

@gothburz The monkey fucking a football looks agile, but he’s not getting much done.

The company hired me to lead their "Agile Transformation." I don't know what Agile means. Nobody does. That's why it works. I make $425,000 a year. To move sticky notes. From left to right. On a board. The board is digital now. The sticky notes cost $80,000 in Jira licenses. Progress. Day one, I said "we need to break down silos." Everyone nodded. Silos are bad. I don't know why. But destroying them is a career. My career. I introduced "squads." Squads are teams. But disrupted. We disrupted the teams into teams. Different names. Same people. Same problems. But Agile problems now. Agile problems are strategic. A senior engineer asked what we're actually changing. I said, "The mindset." He asked what that means. I said, "It's a journey." He asked where we're going. I said, "Toward agility." He asked what agility means. I pointed at the sticky notes. They were moving left to right. That's velocity. We have velocity now. The VP of Engineering said two-week sprints don't fit their work. I said, "That's waterfall thinking." Waterfall is bad. Like silos. I don't know what waterfall is. But I know it's bad. She stopped talking. Waterfall accusations end conversations. We had a retrospective. In the retro, we discussed what went wrong. Everything went wrong. We put it on sticky notes. Then we moved the sticky notes. Into a column called "Parking Lot." The Parking Lot is where problems go to die. It's full. We don't look at it. That's agile. Velocity is up 40%. I defined velocity. I also defined the points. I also defined the stories. We're crushing it. At the things I made up. To measure. Ourselves. The CEO asked for ROI. I showed a chart. The chart went up. Charts should go up. This one did. I didn't label the Y-axis. Nobody asked. Leadership is confidence. We do standups now. Every day. We stand. For 45 minutes. Standing is agile. Sitting is waterfall. My legs hurt. But we're transforming. The transformation is now "Phase 3." Phase 1 was assessment. Phase 2 was implementation. Phase 3 is "continuous improvement." Continuous means forever. Forever means job security. I'm very secure. My contract was extended. Three more years. For "cultural impact." The culture is confused. But impacted. Agile transformation isn't about being agile. It's about transforming. Continuously. Toward more transformation. The destination is the journey. The journey is billable.

@Miyagiwaxoff1 @PresidentRoyalt Is this what it means to be a shawty?

I found @PresidentRoyalt

Senior Field Service Engineer for one of worlds leading Medical Imaging manufacturers here…we need new technology that allows for rapid, frequent MRI imaging for everyone. The wealthy get MRI scans whenever they want them, but the time it takes to facilitate a full body scan is not practical currently. CT is faster, but even with the low doses of radiation, it is not safe enough to receive unwarranted scans (tell that to every ER Dr…) Not to mention what it would cost to install enough scanners, techs to run them, and radiologists to read the images. I believe in the next 10 years AI will significantly decrease my value as an engineer, the need for radiologists will be far lower, and the technological advancements will completely change the approach to preventative medicine.

@KellyMorrisonMN Can you explain then what's wrong with this paper that claims otherwise? pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC87…

Doctor here 👋 There's no such thing as a "preventative MRI."

@0xskye Everyone’s ego is inflated by the digital age…most of them wouldn’t amount to shit doing actual work.

These designers out here acting like they got their skills straight out the womb 🤣 digital Picasso just popped out and started making landing pages.

Uh…..yup

@UpholdInc Xrp staking live now…

If you ran the Uphold account for 24 hours, what would you post?

@downi75 I can’t imagine where this disconnect comes from. The H1B people that I have worked with, in a highly technical field, have never been up to par with my true American co workers. Regardless of race. They just work for pennies on the dollar.

Trump has become an embarrassment Hard to watch Next man up

@MoistBluntz @WallStreetApes What idiot doesn’t know that each empty can has a $.10 deposit value in Michigan. It’s not a return.

@shanman @WallStreetApes what idiot is taking empty cans as a return 😂😂😂

This man delivers groceries from Walmart He says EBT was just turned back on and within 1 days he’s now delivering more soda and chips than he delivers food “I deliver groceries for Walmart — EBT hit in Michigan yesterday. Before EBT hit — I was moving a lot of groceries — EBT hit, the number one item I was moving was pop — and outside of pop, the number one thing I was moving was chips. Chips. You know, like Doritos and stuff.” “Ya’ll spent the last f*cking few weeks complaining about, "We don't have any EBT. We can't feed our children." And then you get EBT and the very first thing you buy is soda and chips. I deliver groceries. The number one item bought on EBT yesterday, in my area, was soda and chips.”

@MoistBluntz @WallStreetApes And the same ones bought new Jordan’s with their student debt payout every single semester but were begging for food the week before

@shanman @WallStreetApes no college student is doing this 😂

It is impossible to have a prosperous society without “skin in the game”. We are where we are because too many people on both spectrums of society have never had to have skin in the game. Trust fund kids/lifelong politicians/lifelong elites have no clue what actual skin in the game means to lower middle class people that don’t want free shit. On the bottom end you have the career welfare crowd, I know plenty of them coming from a small rural town, and they know exactly what it means, but they would rather not work if they can get by on freebies.

Fuckin’ 10!

@downi75 I was in SC this summer visiting some Navy friends. Too damn hot for me to live there full time.

I keep saying I'd move to Kentucky after Michigan But South Carolina fascinates me too. I've heard nothing but good about Charleston

It’s obvious to anyone with half a brain. Even myself, I have a pretty damn good job all things considered. I would be much better off at 40 had I not been a modern day glutton for the first half of my adult life. Not only food, but anything that makes you feel good buying. Toys, cars, food, electronics, the list goes on. Most people have lost their introspective capabilities.

I’m so tired of hearing “Our grandparents could buy a house on one salary, but now we can’t even afford rent on two!” Yeah, because Grandma wasn’t blowin’ half her paycheck on $12 iced coffee and avocado toast, that’s why! Back then, if they wanted coffee, they made it at home. With grounds so strong it could remove rust. You didn’t drink it… you survived it. And Grandma wasn’t out there “brunchin’.” You think she had time for brunch? No! She was at home, cooking something called whatever’s left in the house. And don’t even bring up Uber Eats. These people today are crying about money while living in a 4-bedroom house with two SUVs, six streaming services, and matching sleeve tattoos. You think Grandpa had a tattoo? Yeah it said “Korea, 1951.” And it came with nightmares, not realitic shading. Oh, don’t even get me started on the kids. “We can’t make ends meet, but Brayden needs the new iPhone!” No, he doesn’t! You’re giving an $1100 phone to a kid who still eats glue and boogers. When we were kids, the family phone hung on the wall. It had a cord long enough to jump rope with, and if you wanted privacy, you had to go stand in the pantry. And somehow, we survived. And the TV? There was one. One. It was in the living room, and Dad controlled it. If he wanted to watch bowling, guess what? You liked bowling. Now every room’s got a 65-inch screen, the baby’s got an iPad, and you’re sitting there wondering why you can’t afford rent. Because you’re living like rappers, that’s why! Grandpa wasn’t out here leasing Teslas and buying $12 smoothies called “Detox Sunrise.” He was driving a truck that sounded like thunder and smelled like oil and cigarettes. They lived within their means. Whatever Grandpa’s paycheck bought, that’s what they had. They didn’t try to keep up with the Joneses. They were just trying to keep the fed and a roof over their heads. So yeah, Grandpa could buy a house on one salary. But he also didn’t have 47 subscriptions and emotional-support crystals. He had one support system, Grandma, who told him to suck it up and mow the yard. Now folks are broke, tired, and stressed… and it’s not because of inflation… it’s because y’all keep ordering tacos from DoorDash like you’re royalty. Wake up and smell the truth!!

@Vet_X0 3/7 ain’t bad

No one in XRP has it all - good mental health - job - no addictions - normal sleep schedule - money - loves the XRPL - has a partner

Government is shut down because Republicans offered to increase spending but Democrats want to spend even more. Republicans: Continue Biden budget from last year plus increased spending already approved in BBB. Democrats: Demand even more spending than during Biden. Me: Cut 1%

@downi75 We have had Michigan national guard at the border for almost a year. My brother has been there. It was never publicized pre election when they were sent.

Big Gretch might as well get fitted for a MAGA hat at this point

@IzzyLyman My brother has been at the border for a year as a Michigan national guardsman. It’s nothing new. Difference is it didn’t make headlines when it was Biden that called for it trying to save face before election