Torteval Dairy

I never thought in my lifetime I would see a king and a prime minister welcoming a terrorist. This is Britain 2026!

@ABridgen Nothing.

As threatened Iran has attacked a British target. The British Castrol oil company in Erbil, Iraq. What do you think Starmer’s response will be ?

@CleansedTweets We are.

How do people who lived through the 80s and 90s stomach today. I can’t fathom it. Surely you must be depressed?

@HJoyceGender @STILLTish They've been missing in action for about 9 yrs now.

Now that it's safe, the Eye has something to say about it. I almost think I'd prefer them to maintain their cowardly decade-long silence

@oldfarmhorace @shanaka86 Really thought-provoking.

Kipling saw this long ago in Arithmetic on the Frontier. The Empire could spend a fortune educating, training, transporting and equipping a young British officer, only for him to be brought down by a man with a far cheaper weapon. The arithmetic was cruel then and it is cruel now. Reports suggest Britain’s stock of Storm Shadow missiles is looking worryingly thin, while Iran and others have helped show that modern war is increasingly about cheap mass rather than exquisite scarcity. A Storm Shadow is a magnificent weapon, but it is also expensive, limited in number, and slow to replace. A cheap drone is the opposite. It may be crude, but if you can build them by the thousand and force your enemy to burn through missiles worth millions to stop them, then the rich man’s way of war starts to look like a luxury hobby. The West still fights like a craftsman making fine watches. Its enemies are happy to churn out blunt instruments by the crate. Kipling had the measure of it. The odds are on the cheaper man. In 2026, the odds may be on the cheapest drone.

BREAKING: Britain has fewer than 50 Storm Shadow cruise missiles left. The stockpile that once exceeded 200 was drained over two years of transfers to Ukraine to help Kyiv strike Russian targets deep behind the front line. The missiles worked. They hit command posts and ammunition depots and naval headquarters across occupied Ukraine and Crimea. They helped Ukraine survive. And now Britain has almost none left for itself, during a war being launched from its own airfields against a country that just hit a British oil facility with drones. Brimstone anti-armour missiles sit at 25 to 35 percent of pre-war stocks. Paveway IV precision-guided bombs, the same weapon the RAF used over Libya and Syria, are at 30 to 40 percent. The National Audit Office estimates that Britain can sustain high-intensity combat operations for three to six weeks before requiring American resupply. Three to six weeks. The Iran war is already in its fifth week. If Britain were fighting it rather than hosting it, the cupboard would already be empty. The Army is 10,000 soldiers below target. Type 45 destroyers suffer chronic propulsion failures requiring six to twelve months of repair. The F-35 and Typhoon fleet operates at 60 to 70 percent availability. The industrial base that would replenish stocks runs on rare-earth magnets manufactured in China, the same China that controls 90 percent of the permanent magnets in every guided missile Britain would need to fire and is currently being asked to broker the peace. Any direct involvement beyond basing would require 8 to 15 billion pounds in emergency supplemental spending. National debt exceeds 100 percent of GDP. There is no majority in Parliament for funding a war the Prime Minister says is not Britain’s, fought with weapons Britain does not have, replenished by supply chains controlled by a country Britain needs to broker the ceasefire. This is why Starmer says “not our war.” Not because of principle. Not because of legality, although his own advisors have told him the strikes are legally questionable. Not because of Iraq, although the ghost of Blair hangs over every press conference. Because of arithmetic. Britain gave its missiles to Ukraine. It gave its bases to America. It gave its diplomatic capital to a 35-nation meeting about reopening Hormuz “after the fighting stops.” And it has nothing left to give except words, which cost nothing and accomplish less. Trump knows this. He mocked the Royal Navy in the Telegraph interview. He dismissed Starmer’s windmills. He called NATO a “paper tiger” because the paper is literal: Britain’s defence capability exists on paper. On the tarmac and in the magazines and in the recruitment offices, the numbers tell a different story. The story says that one of the six largest economies on earth, the country that once ruled a quarter of the planet, cannot sustain a shooting war for longer than six weeks without calling Washington for resupply. The bases are full. The aircraft are American. The missiles are gone. The debt is real. And the Prime Minister stands at the podium and says this is not our war while the war takes off from our runways carrying weapons we could not replace if we tried. Britain is not refusing to fight. Britain cannot fight. The doctrine is not a choice. It is an inventory report. And the inventory says zero. open.substack.com/pub/shanakaans…

@sharrond62 It’s not supposed to be ok. It’s a humiliation ritual.

@SubRosaMagick I use ten regularly.

Be honest… does ANYONE actually use these words in real life? 🤣 Bamboozled Flabbergasted Discombobulated Shenanigans Cattywampus Lollygag Malarkey Kerfuffle Brouhaha Nincompoop Skedaddle Tomfoolery Flibbertigibbet Pumpernickel

I was sexually abused from the age of 5. I still feel the hands on my skin. I still get night terrors. I still struggle with relationships and trusting others. But apparently the mass rape of little girls is just a joke to these leftist cretins.

A volunteer at Stirling Pride has pled guilty to using AI to make child sexual abuse images. Amelia Connolly, who's a cross-dressing man, is also a diversity officer for Scottish Young Greens, and was previously an anti-Brexit and SNP activist thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/courts…

I just don’t get how our political class allowed this to happen: the total destruction of the capital It’s like no one on power cares.

@buckysthoughts She's got her finger on the pulse.

Literally you called gay men dancing yesterday a "hellscape" you fucking kapo.

We’re being baited. 1. Govt cover up for Pakistani rape gangs 2. BBC need dog restrictions 3. GMB & BBC treat transvestites as women 4. ITV make Eliz I a transvestite 5. Refuse to name immigration problem 6. Police enable looting environment

@UKLabour It's the most useless.

This Labour Government is the most working-class government in the history of the UK.

I’m going to tell you what just happened to my kids in the park. I wasn’t there, my wife and kids were and I’ve now chatted to them all. My two youngest were playing in the playground with my second eldest’s best friend who had a sleepover at ours last night. (My second eldest had left to see another friend). There was another boy about seven who they were playing with and he asked if my son’s friend was Jewish. (The three of them before had been talking about Passover and being Jewish). My son’s friend said he was and supposedly the little boy looked confused and even disappointed. The reason for the confusion is probably because my son’s mate is a Mizrahi Jew, his mum’s family is from Morocco and he has dark skin. The little boy went up to his dad and started pointing at my kids and my son’s friend and then the dad went mad and started shouting very loudly at the son. My wife was on the other side of the playground and heard the shouting and came over, and the man just kept glaring and staring angrily at my kids and her. His son was terrified and kept far away from my kids and wouldn’t go near them afterwards. Those are the facts as close as I can ascertain. What I can’t 100% verify is that the father was Muslim, although he was a bearded Asian. And I can’t prove he was shouting at his son to stay away from the Jews. But my wife, kids, and son’s friend were all pretty shook up and left shortly thereafter. Now you can accept that this was most likely a horrible example of racism, like something from the US is the 50s, and that many Muslims are racist towards Jews. Or you can accuse me of making this all up, or find another explanation (probably less likely) or even accuse me of being the real racist. I don’t care, what I do care about is the future safety of my family in this country, and the fate of this country.

My proudest achievements: My family Being a Fair Cop Woman Harry and his wife helped save this country at considerable cost. And it's taken years. @robjessel16 and @SVPhillimore absolutely heroic too.

@RoryStewartUK @JohnCleese Wrong. As usual.

.@JohnCleese - What would Christian “culture” look like if you represented it with 1 Sam 15:3 Josh 6:21 Deut 7:1 Deut 20:16–18 Ex 17 - Deut 25 Psalm 137:9 etc? How about actually meeting some Muslims and listening to them instead of demonising a religion you know very little about with selective quotations…

Earlier I saw a young boy say "Mummy I dont like football, does that mean I'm a girl?" The mother said "Of course not, that just means you're a individual person with individual preferences". I smiled politely, then rang the police and reported her for conversion therapy.

I dream of a Peasants’ Revolt. Dream because they would put me in jail for suggesting a real one. In my great dream, I imagine that the nation decides to stop paying tax. Suddenly all the mayors and fat cats have to find real jobs, and search for homes and schools on real (not inflated) wages while competing among the hundreds of thousands of people they let in under de facto open borders. Then we can build a better police force that actually hunts criminals and only recruits people built like the Terminator. And the dream also includes UK taxpayers no longer being charged for gay porn studies and open border charities.

I see that the sectarian Muslim MPs, the Green Party & pro-Palestine activists are all up in arms over Israel’s death penalty for Palestinian convicted terrorists. When Iran executed the 19-year-old champion, Saleh Mohammadi for protesting the Khamenei regime, they were silent.