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BREAKING: Donald Trump's personal library was destroyed in the FBI raid of Mar-a-Lago. Both books are sadly beyond repair, and he hadn't even finished coloring one in yet.

Apparently Chuck Norris died like 20 years ago. Death was just too scared to tell him until today.

Aww man, the FIFA Peace Prize used to really mean something

Hey, @NRA, The US Government just executed a citizen and then publicly stated that they had to kill him in order to infringe on his inalienable right to carry his permitted firearm. When should I expect a well regulated militia? How about a tweet? Your silence is deafening.

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” — George Orwell, '1984'

Dear MAGA, It isn't too late to admit you put your faith in the wrong man. To publicly reverse your support and tell the world that you voted Trump but didn't vote for THIS. Because the only other possibility is that you DID vote for exactly this. And... well, that's fucked up.

Things Trump Voters Gave Away: - The Bill of Rights - Public Trust in Elections - Truth & Independence in Media - The Integrity of the Judiciary - The Expectation of Personal Safety - America's Place in the Global Order - Their Own Dignity Things Trump Voters Got: - A Red Hat

The craziest thing about this latest ICE shooting is that proof of Trump's pedophilia is still in the unreleased Epstein files.

Trump-backed federal agents are gunning US citizens down in the streets; Trump adminsitration officials are then lying to the public about what happened; and Trump's DOJ are actively preventing independent investigations of the killings. It's enough. It's too much. He has to go.

@TheKingCorcoran Lol. What was the statement? Shiny Toys Stop Toddler Tantrums

@TranslateThings A dissident leader living under an authoritarian regime doesnt hand out 'participation trophies.' She made a deliberate political statement.

“The deterioration of every government begins with the decay of the principles on which it was founded.” — Montesquieu

It's always the people you most suspect...

Lol. FIFA really made up a fake peace prize and gave it to toddler trump to stop him from tantrumming.

My “I’ve never been to pedophile island” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

The world trying to figure out how to feel about an American Pope...

Let me get this straight; the guy who wanted to "restore masculinity" to the military and foster a "warrior culture" is requesting a make-up studio be installed in the military headquarters of the United States, just to ensure he looks as pretty as possible at all times.

I'm not saying Donald Trump is a Russian asset, I'm just saying he wouldn't do a single thing differently if he were.

It's only been one Scaramucci.