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BREAKING: Donald Trump's personal library was destroyed in the FBI raid of Mar-a-Lago. Both books are sadly beyond repair, and he hadn't even finished coloring one in yet.

2023: Corona ended 2026: Hantavirus

has RFK tried just coughing really hard

FUN FACT: If you study the History of Ancient Egypt at university, the only job prospect you have is teaching others the History of Ancient Egypt. It's the original pyramid scheme.

Apparently Chuck Norris died like 20 years ago. Death was just too scared to tell him until today.

Aww man, the FIFA Peace Prize used to really mean something

Hey, @NRA, The US Government just executed a citizen and then publicly stated that they had to kill him in order to infringe on his inalienable right to carry his permitted firearm. When should I expect a well regulated militia? How about a tweet? Your silence is deafening.

Dear MAGA, It isn't too late to admit you put your faith in the wrong man. To publicly reverse your support and tell the world that you voted Trump but didn't vote for THIS. Because the only other possibility is that you DID vote for exactly this. And... well, that's fucked up.

Things Trump Voters Gave Away: - The Bill of Rights - Public Trust in Elections - Truth & Independence in Media - The Integrity of the Judiciary - The Expectation of Personal Safety - America's Place in the Global Order - Their Own Dignity Things Trump Voters Got: - A Red Hat

The craziest thing about this latest ICE shooting is that proof of Trump's pedophilia is still in the unreleased Epstein files.

@TheKingCorcoran Lol. What was the statement? Shiny Toys Stop Toddler Tantrums

@TranslateThings A dissident leader living under an authoritarian regime doesnt hand out 'participation trophies.' She made a deliberate political statement.

It's always the people you most suspect...

My “I’ve never been to pedophile island” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

The world trying to figure out how to feel about an American Pope...

Let me get this straight; the guy who wanted to "restore masculinity" to the military and foster a "warrior culture" is requesting a make-up studio be installed in the military headquarters of the United States, just to ensure he looks as pretty as possible at all times.

I'm not saying Donald Trump is a Russian asset, I'm just saying he wouldn't do a single thing differently if he were.

It's only been one Scaramucci.

🎯

Recess Appointments are what Matt Gaetz calls his dates with middle schoolers.