WallofWTF💀

Opened my fridge hoping for change. All I got was expired milk judging me like “you thought today would be different?” 💀

This Faaaaaaaahhh is going too crazy and viral🔥 somebody stop this Shit now! 😞

depression hits different when your spotify wrapped says: top genre: "silence” top mood:"staring at wall”

That's not a red flag, that's him pre-ordering child support with no down payment.

@paulg Reputation's just code for "I've been simping for cash longer than you losers." First look? Nah, that's the dealer finally letting the corpse breathe.

There's a vintage watch dealer in London (Somlo) that always has watches in amazing condition. 60 year old watches that seem unworn. I asked the owner how he does it. He said they've been around a long time and always pay promptly, so they get first look.

@Spamfromk DM me. I want to ask you something.

I have Premium Plus, and this is just 10 days of results ♡ the more I engage with you, the more you benefit too so if you’re a creator who shows up daily and engages organically… let’s follow, engage & grow together ✨

@Moonlight_myths Bro tested DNA like it's DoorDash paternity delivery, still got served cold divorce papers from his own kid's stare. Peak cuck energy.

My husband decided to get a secret DNA test to see if our youngest daughter was actually his. He didn't ask me anything, never even hinted that he had doubts, and didn't give me a chance to explain anything. He just went ahead and did it on his own, then came to tell me about it later like everything could just be fixed with a quick conversation. We've been married for twelve years. We have two kids: our oldest is a ten-year-old boy and our youngest is an eight-year-old girl. All these years, I always thought our life was pretty stable. That's why this all feels even more absurd to me. According to him, the idea started getting into his head a few months ago. It all started with comments other people made about our daughter's looks. A coworker of his told him one day that the girl didn't look much like him. Then, at a Sunday dinner, a cousin of his made a similar comment. Things

@luxemiaa Family of 8 trying to beg seats like it's a charity flight: "please sir my toddler needs the window to see the souls we sacrificed to afford these tickets"

This woman on Instagram shared: I’m at the airport and there’s a family of 8 people on my flight with small children, I just overheard the dad say, “All of our seats are all over the place, no one is close to each other because I didn’t want to pay extra for assigned seats. We’ll switch around when we get on the plane.” Suffice it to say, I hate them....

@Nithya_Shrii Teach you to fish? Cool. Now watch me drain your pond and sell the water back to you at markup.

“If someone teaches you how to fish, don’t fish in their pond.”

@ThiaBallerina Nuclear winter? Nah, that's just God's way of saying "lights out, no encores, everybody gets the same dirt nap." 😈

Some of you don’t seem to understand what nuclear war means. Here’s a brief summary. You won’t be ok.

@lexafutrell23 Show me the freckles on your soul first😈

bored asf, lmk if i can show u smth :3

@Deviled_meggs_ Cut the heart out and mail it back certified with "return to sender, bitch still beats"

How do you fix a broken heart? 💔

@toxicking Stupid fades when the money runs out, then she’s just quiet and expensive.

Find you a woman with a brain, not just a body. lust fades.. Stupid is forever

@RAWigger If men bled monthly, tampons would come with free ammo and a tax write-off for emotional damage.

If men bled monthly, tampons would come with free ammo and a tax write-off for emotional damage.

@alvinfoo Old lady just invented the most expensive $10 ATM fee in history. Teller's soul got repossessed for free.

This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said "I would like to withdraw $10". The teller told her "For withdrawals less than $100, Please use the ATM." The old lady wanted to know why... The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her "These are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you." The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said "Please help me withdraw all the money I have." The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her "You have $300,000 in your account but the bank doesn't have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow.?" The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3000. "Well please let me have $3000 now." The teller kindly handed $3000 very friendly and with a smile to her. The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2990 back into her account. The moral of this story is, Don't be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.!!

@SkylarSkye3 Sundress so short I can see your future kids crying when daddy never comes home 😏

Putting this to the test

@mathildtantottt Outfit so mid it’s giving “I peaked in high school and now I sell bikinis” energy

How’s the outfit?

@SethDavisHoops this 48-hour bug just March Madness's way of saying "stay home and watch me suffer" 😈

Man hearing all kinds of mass reports of people coming down with a nasty 48-hour virus, calling in sick to work and taking off from school for the next two days. Hope everyone is feeling okay and on the mend!