Keith Henderson

@Dominos_UK I ordered from your Heaton store in Newcastle, and waited 90 minutes for it to arrive. On the plus side, it was barely warm and, shall we say, ‘well done’ when it was eventually delivered. Not worth £27.46 of anyone’s money. Refund please!

@KathyBurke The best romcom (if it’s even one) has to This Year’s Love. British film, amazing cast, and the best line in a film ever. ‘You fuck with me you fuck with death, you fuck!’

Watched a great little romcom on Amazon called I Want You Back if you’re looking for some lightness. Jenny Slate and Charlie Day are fab.

@lstone345 @elainerobz @turnerthecomic @kielder_obs @FeltNowt Such an amazing place. My daughter did her work experience there a few weeks ago. I walked in Mars 🔭👩‍🚀

I'm sure @elainerobz & @turnerthecomic will agree: it was a delight & a privilege to gig at @kielder_obs on Friday. really a very special gig (and not just because we were allowed to touch a little bit of the moon!) thanks so much for having us, folks ✨🌟☄️💫

@MagpieMediaa Howe and his team must have applied the same character tests as for his other signings, so if Eddie believes he’s the right man for us, then so do I.

Just me who would prefer if we didn’t sign Ekitike and moved onto other targets? #NUFC

@ChrisGPackham I leave the bottom of my garden, and an old pond, to nature. I’ve never cultivated it at all because I think nature never gets it wrong. I’ve seen so much life in there it’s astonishing. Also got a woodpile behind the shed for the bugs 🐞🐛🕷

@wmarybeard @BBCr4today I think he prefers buses because trains go too fast for people to read the lies written on the side of them.

The PM is telling us that he is “passionate believer” in railways. Didn’t he use to be a passionate believer in buses? I guess you can be a passionate believer in both. Or maybe you passionately believe in whatever suits at the time @BBCr4today

@rickygervais Happy birthday! If I look like you when I’m 61 I’ll kill myself.

@NadiaWhittomeMP @RMTunion Careful, Nadia. With that kind of socialist ideology you’ll be kicked out of the Labour party.

When I was elected I pledged to share my MP's salary with my community. So in solidarity with @RMTunion members in the East Mids, I've donated £2,000 to their strike fund. These rail workers are leading the way for all workers. They're the ones who need a pay rise, not MPs.

@SteveRPugh I’m sure he was hacked. You know, like when someone posts a picture of their penis. They’re all victims of hacking too, apparently.

@TristanSnell I’ve always believed that religious belief is as close to mental illness as makes no difference. It seems the republicans have proved my hypothesis.

"Leave it up to the states" was also the pro-slavery argument in the 1800s.

@GaryBarlow I’ve been looking at way to avoid tax. Any advice?

Nothing beats the weekend - we made it ! Busy week for me, what about you ?

@StarbucksUK six people behind the counter at you Northumberland Street store in Newcastle, and I’m into my 10th minute of waiting for a flat white. It’s coffee not fucking alchemy.

@BootstrapCook @StillSina I can’t remember the last time I took a receipt, but o remember being told by one shop that I had to take the receipt because of ‘data protection laws’ I didn’t take it - proper bad boy, me!

@JenBartram I remember doing an open night at the Magnesia Bank in 2009, run by his brother Liam, and @samfendermusic and his mates got up and did a cover of Grounds for Divorce. TBH it wasn’t wry good at all, but he’s come a loooong way since then. Love everything about him🙂

Just caught up on the Sam Fender set. Flipping love that boy. #bbcglastonbury

@mrjamesob Absolutely, James. I will always remember the marvellous Neville Wanless and his sign-off at the end of the day (in the days when TV actually had an end of the day).

I don't think any broadcasters build a bond with their audience as strong as the ones built by long serving presenters of regional news. They are part of the furniture when you're at home & part of home when you're not. Harry Gration embodied this. Thank you & good night.

@grantshapps You make me want to change species

@CostaCoffee I’m trying to send a DM but it won’t send for some reason

@beigeviper Oh no Keith! I am so sorry to see this, I can understand how off putting this must be, could you please DM us with the date and time of this visit, as well as your email address and Coffee club card number? - Olivia

@CostaCoffee I’ve just been in to your store at Manor Walks in Cramlington, and walked out after looking at the totally uncovered cakes and pastries, and seeing this. It’s something I’ve seen in many of your stores. I think you’ve lost me as a customer.

@JaneFallon I read Worst.Idea.Ever and thought it would be a bit shit. But it was actually a bit of well writ lit not in the least bit shit which rightly was a hit.

@mettlesome_teri @LeftGrassroots Nice to see Richard Madeley’s Alan Partridge tribute act going so well.

Richard Madeley asking Mick Lynch RMT is he’s a Marxist. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It’s doesn’t go well. Mick tells him he’s talking ‘twaddle’, Richard responds ‘I’m not talking twaddle’. 😂🤣 Yeah you are Richard. More Mick on tv please. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻