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I have been left destitute after sexting over a telegraph with my long distance chimney sweep boyfriend because I keep asking for consent again whenever he says STOP at the end of a sentence.
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eel enthusiast ๐ฆ
25.6K posts
eel enthusiast ๐ฆ
@cheascake
same jester, new court
universal basic white girl ๊ฐ์
์ผ Aralฤฑk 2020
640 ํ๋ก์2.7K ํ๋ก์
eel enthusiast ๐ฆ ๋ฆฌํธ์ํจ
weird day where it's like well i do have a workout class this evening but do i go to it in case we do nuclear war at 8
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Didn't go to the store last week and did not defrost my stew so today we have shredded carrot and vanilla yogurt in a fiber tortilla
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eel enthusiast ๐ฆ ๋ฆฌํธ์ํจ
blue collar is when the customers want to hit you and white collar is when your coworkers want to hit you.
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eel enthusiast ๐ฆ ๋ฆฌํธ์ํจ
Ugly as hell, stinking, mouth agape and drooling with my knuckles dragging on the ground. Back in the grocery store.
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I have a coworker who lives on chocolate milk and limes and like once a week I find myself envious until I remember I have bigger biceps and then I'm Cured
ER!S@bstract_thot
cultural brainwashing is crazy. i'm watching The Substance & every time Margaret Qualley comes on i think "man i'm not doing enough i gotta lose weight" literally an ant watching a documentary about exterminators and thinking "man that blood-dissolving sugar poison looks good"
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it must feel so good to be playdough in a hydraulic press
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living in new jersey is a lot like being cinderella because every time i want to go home from a night out i have to go before the PATH turns into a pumpkin and the operators turn back into rats
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eel enthusiast ๐ฆ ๋ฆฌํธ์ํจ
eel enthusiast ๐ฆ ๋ฆฌํธ์ํจ
the worst part of living with my wife is that iโm also living with all her intrusive thoughts like last night as we were falling asleep i said โi hope that you sleep wellโ and then through the darkness she replied โi hope that whenever i die you die at the exact same timeโ
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eel enthusiast ๐ฆ ๋ฆฌํธ์ํจ
my wife thinks I'm a genius but she also disagrees with me sometimes, implying she sees herself as some kind of super-genius. yet she denies this
English
eel enthusiast ๐ฆ ๋ฆฌํธ์ํจ
eel enthusiast ๐ฆ ๋ฆฌํธ์ํจ
