Clint Martin

Do you suppose necrophiles get funereal diseases?

oh no

There is a guy with a snowboard walking by Snowmobile Pizza and SLC is just an odd place is what I’m saying

Millennials invent country clubs cityweekly.net/utah/home-away…

Mastodon works like email. You pick a provider (server) or run your own (don’t). It has the benefits of email: if a single server goes down, it doesn’t take down the system. And all the downsides: server roulette with regards to mods, privacy, uptime etc.

@thejenna Monkey paw curls…

Utah government seems to be stricter on bar licenses after a kitchen fire than they are on teen treatment businesses after someone dies.

It’s open enrollment season, which means I’m internally raging 50% of the time about nonsensical and expensive our healthcare system is

A non-Utah-strength caipirinha in Queens got me all sentimental

Ugh, I actually hope Twitter stays around. I actually like it here.

can't stop thinking about the part in the Two Towers where Treebeard says the ents "lost" the entwives and can't find them, like, they clearly left you and you need to come to terms with that, this is a textbook lesbian tree commune situation

Not loving your job shouldn't carry a penalty. Data: seeing work as a job—not a calling—limits raises & promotions. Managers misjudge you as unproductive and uncommitted. Performance requires professionalism, not passion. What counts is how people contribute, not how they feel.

Had to tell someone, “sorry I accidentally text like a Victorian ghost sometimes” and they did not counter this statement

Oh god, not the roses

@jerkob I don’t trust that this is you

Going to start verifying all my texts

Apparently this account is now just self-parody

It’s me. I’m gays.

One proudly announces she used to take didgeridoo classes and everyone loses their mind

NY state law requires every table of loudly brunching straight white girls be accompanied by a table of gays 10-15 feet away quietly throwing shade

America’s cities are crime-ridden hellscapes. I’m sitting in a coffee shop’s courtyard in Queens and a pushy sparrow is trying to swipe the remainder of my breakfast burrito. How do people live like this?

Saw the trailer for the Chippendales show and thought, “this is just reality fanfic,” and realized we just call that “fiction”