ya girl dot

When I say "I'm expensing this" that just means I'm making my boyfriend pay for it

The quality of sweaters has declined so greatly in the last twenty years that I think it genuinely necessitates a national conversation

POV you’re the bartender at a wedding

I’m sorry but I love them

I’ve never seen someone assume a more perfect stance for gossip

That time I hung my lovely gold Barney Gumble sign in the kitchen but quickly had to find a new place for it thanks to its terrifying reflection

At work we use this drain cleaner called “Enzikem” and I just feel like some white couple would love to name their daughter that

I need my next partner to be absolutely looney tunes for me. Like, heart exploding from chest, tongue rolling out into a carpet, bonking themselves on the head with a hammer when they see me until little birds circle them, etc etc

I just ran into my former foster dog in the street and it was like that guy who sees his lion friend for the first time in ten years

Tonight, a mom joined the grieving parents FB group I belong to. Her son was killed 22 mass shootings ago. He was killed in a mass shooting last week.

I wonder how many good books I missed out on because they looked like this

“can you explain the gaps in your resume?” yes that was when I worked really weird jobs that I don’t want you to know about

@Natesure_isneat What’s your email address? I’ll see what I can scrounge up for ya!

@fencheeks I apparently can't DM you but was wondering if you still had links to some YouTube relics

Feel like mental health has pretty safely hit the “breast cancer zone,” where literally everyone is now aware of it but awareness campaigns are all we are ever gonna get when what we really need is free universal healthcare

Girl who starts acting weird bc she’s nervous that she is acting weird

.@SouthwestAir your solo desk agent worked 16 hours, was asked to keep working because of canceled flights. They broke down crying at the desk. This employee treatment is not ok. I can be chill about weather/computer issues, but abusing your workers will make me switch airlines.

I asked my bf to take a pic of me and when I asked to see it he was like “honestly you don’t want to see this” can’t tell if that’s the nicest or meanest thing anyones ever done for me