Eugene Phyton

Things I wanna do in 2026 - Get more drunk - Do more drugs - Have sex with more women - Win more bets - Find God - get clean - relapse - get clean again

@Optimus_Dracula 😭😭

Madam go and pay your loan.

@SnoopDogg Quite the breakfast, man. 😁😁

Me n my Dogg

"lemme burst your brain" you just know the gist is getting 100% better.

Bro my knees are popping like mad. 💀💀🤣

@gmltony Something wey fit off am.

“Free and fair election” I never hear Tinubu talk am before

@vinicius_snrr Rice and stew with half egg o

Need a woman that would be sending me streaks like this, I’m tired of seeing pictures of rice and stew

@Mr_Diabolical_ A developer's worst nightmare.

Why can’t Samsung create its own operating system, Android is holding it back

@Hhonor_ Get in jhor

First Nigerian to fall in Türkiye

@CZA_Razaki @ElStachioo You don't even know how cooked we are. 😂😂

@iAmPhyton @ElStachioo Guy stop na 😅😅

I dy midlife crisis and I never even clock 30, watin go come sup by the time I reach there

@dammiedammie35 Day don finally break. 🫪🥱🥱

“I’m a woman DSP, I retired in the year 2024, we served this country and now we’ve turned to sl@ves. We’ve been sl@ves for long, we’ve been under sl@very for long, we’re appealing to President Tinubu to pay us” - Retired policewoman cries out 🥹🧎🏻‍♂️‍➡️💔

@Freddnova Light one first and find out.

Is there really something about this smoking that I don't really know ? Inhaling smoke and breathing it out is the fun or what??

@udysznx Una dy date o.

“i’ve moved on” plait your hair na

@g0dH20 That turn was just icing on the cake.

@GoldUsoro LFG jhor 🔥

After I posted my 4.91 CGPA, I heard a lot of “it’s because you went to a private university” and “your First Class is a 2:2 in a public uni” 💀 Anyway… we ran it back at law school. What’s the explanation now? 😌

@dammiedammie35 What good of the people did they do when they were in active service???

“They’re feeding fat on the sweat of the police, the least worker in Pencom receives 2.5 million, and it’s our money. Our people are kp@ing daily, no money to take care of them. Imagine paying CSP who served Nigerian police for 35 years 3million Naira, what kind of money is that? It is ev!l against human!ty” - Retired Policemen protests infront of Aso villa

@JakeRammos @Deaib_szn Comfort.

Name an addiction worse than alcohol and drugs.

@FourEyedBae Very useless foolish people. 😂😂

You people’s mothers won’t use their witchcraft to fight the government,it is for other people’s children inside bus😃

@willinilli024 Divorce. ☝🏽🙏🏽

My biggest fear is my wife suddenly becoming deeply involved in church activities and deciding she wants to become an overly religious person. God forgive me, but at that point I'm divorcing and flinging her away😭😭

@mommiana5 Bruh. 😳

@ManLikeAkoh Car?? Can you buy a new phone? Like flagship phone released in the last 2 years.

When you work for a year and you can’t buy a car, you should know you’re in a very useless system! Yet you fools will travel abroad and still support this useless government.