Mr Jayeoba 🇳🇬

You did the right thing by leaving. When it is getting close to hitting, that is no longer normal. That is danger. Not every relationship can be fixed. If it keeps hurting you, breaking you, and pushing you to act in ways that are not you, then something is very wrong. For now, don’t rush back. Give yourself space. Calm down. Think clearly. You can’t fix anything when there is anger and insults. Be honest with yourself. If this keeps happening again and again, then it is a pattern. And patterns don’t change unless both people want to change. That means real help like counselling. If she is not willing, and nothing changes, then leaving may be the better choice. About your image, leave that aside. Your life and peace matter more than what people will say. A man who is not at peace cannot lead well, no matter what title he has. 🤷‍♂️

@Lemiija @jon_d_doe But atiku has been failing all this while whenever he contest for Presidential elections This shows he doesn't know or doesn't understand the game at all

Agba with all due respect, Obi is a very respectable candidate and we all love him. Saying Tinubu can't defeat him, in my own opinion "if the ADC give their ticket to Obi today, APC will be declared winner before 12noon" that i can assure you. You see,Obi isn't a rugged candidate that can stand Tinubu and APC at the moment.He will be bullied out. He's too soft to stand Tinubu in power.He need to have a good part with Atiku, Atiku is his bulldozer. He first of all need to clinch the Vice Presidential ticket with Atiku first and get close to power. By then APC would have been off the road then he can build on that. APC are praying Obi is given the ticket, that you can take to the bank. The only person they're afraid of is Atiku.They know he understand the game and they can't bully him.He's a lord too in their game. So Atiku/Obi is the only ticket that can compete.Thank you

My greatest wish for Nigeria and Nigerians is for Peter Obi or someone like him to become our President. Under a very free and credible election, I do not see President Tinubu defeating Peter Obi. And he knows it. End.

When two people turn on each other, the real issue gets ignored. Now it’s no longer about fixing anything, it’s about who wins, who is right, and who hurts more. That’s how small problems become big ones. A strong relationship is not you vs me. It’s both of us vs the issue. Once you lose that mindset, you start damaging the very thing you’re trying to protect. 🤷‍♂️

I have thought about it, & this is what I can come up with. The reason people come online to beg for financial help from strangers is that they want free money. Or because they are bad debtors & have burned many bridges. We do not have family and friends for nothing. End.

No, that’s not true. And it’s not fair to put that on the wife. A man choosing to watch porn is his own decision. It comes from his habits, his self control, and what he feeds his mind over time. One can be with a loving, active, attentive wife and still choose porn. So blaming her is just avoiding responsibility. Sex in marriage is not a “duty” where the woman must perform so the man behaves well. That mindset turns a relationship into pressure, not connection. Real intimacy is about both people being open, present, and willing. Not one person trying to “keep” the other from bad choices.

Just because he feels good in your hole doesn’t mean he’s good for your soul. Some people bring pleasure, but they bring chaos too. They excite you, but they don’t respect you. They show up when it suits them, but disappear when you need them. And if you’re not careful, you’ll mistake that physical connection for something deeper. Real connection is not just about chemistry. It’s about peace, trust, and how you feel when they are not even there. If someone can touch your body but can’t protect your heart, then you already know the truth. 🤷‍♂️

@TheOdin_II You are a brilliant man but let me add to this …. Rule by fear and you get a clean house and a dead marriage. You will win every argument but lose the person. Lead with respect and you will sometimes realize you are wrong or even be challenged but you will have your own person.

A man who leads with consistency builds loyalty. 🤷‍♂️

I stand with this 100% sir, some of them don’t want advice they want approval for a decision they’ve already made. They’ll hear there father’s voice, ignore it, then come to your DM hoping you’ll say the opposite so they can feel justified. That’s not how this works. Agba I believe you not here to create tension between them and there parents. If they already have guidance from their father, they should respect it. If you agree, you’ll reinforce it. If you don’t, you’ll step back, because you won’t be the one to break that line. Not every voice needs to override your father’s voice, sometimes the discipline you’re running from is exactly what you need.

@EzekielOluwada6 @jon_d_doe Not every voice needs to override ones father's voice

Let me say something. If you come to my DM to seek for any advice, and then you say: "My father has already adviced me but..." If I agree with your father, I'll advice you. If I don't agree with your father, I cannot advice to go against your father's advice. End.

The moment a woman is comfortable asking you for money, it either means she doesn’t see a future with you… or she simply doesn’t rate you. Pay attention. She’s already telling you how she sees you.

I honestly don’t like the idea of leaving kids with other families overnight, especially when the parents are very much around. This is quite common in the UK. A child goes to “sleep over” at a friend’s house and it feels normal. But the truth is, it comes with risks many people don’t think about. You don’t really know the values that family has built in their home. What is normal to them might be very different from what you teach your child. The way they talk, what they allow, what they watch, how they handle discipline… all of that shapes your child in ways you may not see immediately. You also don’t fully know the people in that house. Not just the parents, but older siblings, relatives, or even visitors who may come around. It only takes one wrong influence or one unsafe moment to create damage that could take years to fix. Then there is exposure. Things like early conversations about sex, bad language, drinking, or other adult habits can be introduced too soon. Kids are curious. They pick things up fast. What you have been carefully building at home can be affected in just one night. There is also the emotional side. Some children may not feel safe or comfortable but won’t speak up. They might try to act brave or fit in, while quietly dealing with fear or pressure. This is not about living in fear. It is about being wise. If you must allow it, know the family very well. Be clear about your boundaries. Keep communication open with your child. And make sure your child knows they can call you anytime, no matter what. Not everything that is common is safe. As a parent, your job is not to follow trends. Your job is to protect and guide your child the best way you can. 🤷‍♂️

Your spouse is not the one you’re meant to battle. Better put, your spouse is not your enemy. You didn’t marry someone to compete with them or break them down. You chose each other to build something together. Yes, there will be times when it feels like everything is off. Small issues turn big, words get twisted, and it feels like you’re standing on different sides. But that feeling can lie to you. Two people can struggle and still be on the same team. Being out of sync doesn’t mean it’s over. It just means something needs attention. When you stop seeing your partner as the problem and start facing the problem together, things begin to shift. Just know that it’s not you versus them. It’s both of you versus what’s trying to pull you apart. 🤷‍♂️

@GloriousGod01 Na better format No asoebi group at all Na flexing she won use the money do

I met this girl three days ago at ShopRite, we talked, vibed well. Everything has been going really well since then until she dropped this... What should I do next?

@zeebron24 @jon_d_doee Same with me o Beejay

@jon_d_doee So it’s nature. Now I know why these girls said am too strict and egotistic.

Dear young women, Do you agree with her? 😂😂😂😂

When my aunt dropped the news on the family WhatsApp group that my cousin was getting married (this was last year), everywhere just went quiet. We just started thinking about our lives all over again. 😂 This is a 22 years old boy born and brought in the States, at 21 he was already done with school, has a solid well paying job, and is stepping into marriage with structure and stability. Meanwhile, back here in Nigeria, my younger brother is even older than him and still navigating the chaos of ASUU strikes, admission wahala, financial pressure, and the everyday struggle that comes with being a common man trying to survive in this country. Marriage is not even on his mind. At 24 in Nigeria, many young men are still trying to find their footing. Many are still job hunting, underemployed, battling with gaining admission to obtain a BS.c, those who have gotten admission are stuck in the university system or in polytechnics trying to figure out their next move, while others are trying to figure life out life after NYSC. And the cycle continues. “Marry early, build together,” it sounds nice in theory. But in reality, for many average Nigerians, it ends up being “marry early, struggle together.” And that kind of financial pressure can test even the strongest relationships not to talk of marriage sef. Love is sweet, no doubt. But love alone cannot pay rent, school fees, hospital bills, feeding, personal needs, and family responsibilities. Constant financial stress has a way of draining affection, creating tension, and turning small issues into big problems. If you’re under financial stress even konji no go hold you, e go be like say you dey celibate for your own marital home. In a country like this, you can’t afford to go into marriage blindly all because of love, age, pressure, or you want to build together with your intending wife and grow with your kids. Wallahi, you have to be intentional, strategic, and sometimes even ruthless with your planning especially if you’re an average Nigerian just trying to stay survive.

At the age of 23/25, my wife and I were serving (NYSC). I was not even sure of what would become of me after service. But it took me 4 more years before I could marry her. In the Western world, it's very common to see young men getting married at 25. Why? Because they have a better economy and social benefits for children, etc. Most children go to public schools (primary and secondary), which are free. Health care is also provided in public hospitals for most people. But here in Africa, and in Nigeria, the reverse is the case. While we have public primary and secondary schools, most of them are not in good shape. That is to show you how bad things have become. Because I went to a public primary and secondary school, and the same applies to my wife. In Nigeria today, most parents prefer to send their kids to private schools and also use private hospitals. We don't have the basic social amenities or benefits that most people enjoy in the Western or more developed world. So, in such a situation, is it advisable for a young man to get married at 24? Is he mentally and financially prepared for the responsibilities? Because whether you like it or not, once you're married, you must live up to your responsibilities, regardless of your age. Which is why, even though I encourage early marriage, I still advise that 35 is not too late for you. You need a strong financial plan and buffer to be able to survive as a married man in a country like Nigeria. Your fathers may have married at a much younger age, but we had a better country. Private schools were very scarce, and most of us went to public schools. If our government is failing us, do not fail yourself by embarking on a journey of marriage when you're not prepared. And if you decide to embark on it, please manage the responsibilities you take on. End.

This is solid advice 🙌 And if he is teachable and applies wisdom, he will navigate it well. If I may add, marriage goes far beyond just the relationship between a man and his wife. Once children come into the picture, everything shifts. As a man, it becomes essential to grow in your understanding of parenthood and to learn how to be an even better partner to your wife as she transitions into motherhood. Life will not always remain the same as it was when it was just the two of you, and that i something many people fail to prepare for. Motherhood is a deep, demanding journey. For many women, it can bring a level of exhaustion that is not always visible, especially when most of the responsibility falls on them. This can also affect areas like intimacy, not out of neglect, but from sheer physical and emotional fatigue. Sometimes, something as simple as checking in on your wife mentally after work can make a huge difference. On days when you desire intimacy, let it not begin with expectation but with care. Prepare a warm bath for her. Help with the baby to ease her load. Offer her a shoulder massage, and create space where she can also pour into you. Take time to have meaningful, intimate conversations. Remind her that she is beautiful. Appreciate her for all she does for the child and for you. And in a healthy dynamic, she will also meet you halfway, expressing gratitude for your efforts and presence. When both spouses feel seen, valued, and supported, intimacy flows naturally. Before you know it, connection is restored, affection deepens, and everything else follows effortlessly.

In June of 2025, this young man came to my DM. I did not see his DM as at then, but he sent me another DM today, so I decided to read the previous DM. He's married and he's 25 now. They now have a child too. Compare his first DM with the latest one that he sent, you can see the change of tone. He is now experiencing financial difficulties, and it's affecting their sex life. I don't want to assume anything because I have not chatted with him. But here is what I will say: when two very young people are married, they need proper guidance and mentorship, which is exactly why he's in my DM. At 25, he's already a father and married, and taking on the responsibilities for his wife and child. Not being able to meet these responsibilities at a very young age can be a very heavy burden on him. And at his wife's age of 24, he would be struggling to lead her effectively. When finance becomes a problem in marriage, a woman would hardly be turned on for sex. Or she would hardly be the one to initiate it. She may not deny you sex if you want, but you would feel the lack of romantic connection if you observe keenly. So young man, I understand what you mean by your ego. However, you need to be careful so you don't trigger your wife. What you need to be doing now is giving your wife hope and making her worry less. You need to show her what you're doing and what plans you have to change the situation. You're barely one year and a few months into marriage. Even when there are no financial issues, most married people would struggle within their first five years of marriage. So it's a phase. In your first DM, you mentioned that you and your FIL are in the same line of business, and that you're close. You may wish to leverage that closeness, so that he can help you encourage & guide your wife too. As for your wife, this is a critical stage for her. I want to believe that most of her friends are still single and in their "hoe phase". I hope she applies wisdom in her dealings and is not misled by bad advice or peer pressure. You have years ahead of you to change the situation in your marriage. Whatever you are doing now, be diligent in it. You may wish to avoid having another baby for now, until things start to look positive. Because if you impregnate your wife again without making sure that your finances are better, you'd make things worse for both of you. I wish you well. End.