kelly

bisexuals be like “omg my outfit is so cute!!!” and then be dressed exactly like this

Smoking weed in 1976: im gonna have groovy sex with an incredibly stinky woman Smoking weed in 2022: if my vape is out of battery I Will Kill Myself

first you ask me to “imagine dragons” and now you want me to “try guys”????

mhm

i hate reverse cowgirl because he gets to looks at a beautiful woman and i have to look at his toes

i hate when i see a sexy ass picture of megan fox and machine gun kelly is there

open mics are just like adult talent shows

@holy_schnitt my brother is 28 but i think he’s the only one

I have never met a man who was 28 years old. I’m not entirely sure they exist

there’s never been a problem that smokin a lil weed couldn’t fix

@_radsy happy bday rads ❤️❤️❤️❤️

So far 26 feels a lot like 25 and 364/365ths. I don’t really take selfies anymore, so here’s two

@spo0kymads i’d rather hear about that than watch someone eat four hot dogs without buns

being added to someone’s close friends story is like being born. you have absolutely no say in whether or not you want to participate and the only way out is death

@jbfan911 i’ll pay you not to post tweets

Fine I’ll post tweets for free

@SweetBabyTayz did lexi’s sister ruin her play

@doyalikebaileys damn i am a rat and all i eat is olaplex :/

this is the actual study. this video gives a rly good summary but basically unless you are a rat who is eating or inhaling massive amounts of lilial, there is no reason to believe olaplex will have any effect on your fertility ec.europa.eu/health/system/… twitter.com/LabMuffin/stat…

OLAPLEX IS NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU INFERTILE omg

@HadessMiller did the cops pull the plug

what happened to fez’s grandma!!!!!

@ryantgoodboy do you think she would wanna hang out

@kelllicopter she’s posted up chillin wym

going to my alt if anyone wants to follow <3

@DripTowers she hates me mystery solved

@kelllicopter Ask her why she would do that. Demand satisfaction.

i was just looking at instagram stories and my ex best friend who sucks so much posted a picture from high school that i WAS in but she CROPPED ME OUT LMAO