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@_radsy

Everything in moderation, except for snacks. https://t.co/5nYXnwFkTs

she/her Katılım Temmuz 2011
889 Takip Edilen31.7K Takipçiler
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Rads
Rads@_radsy·
[being chased by killer] ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*
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Rads@_radsy·
who called it a food offering and not a snackrifice
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Rads@_radsy·
GIFT HORSE: … DENTIST: …
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Rads@_radsy·
meet the elite couples breeding to save mankind
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Rads@_radsy·
ME: gotta run, guys! I have a date with destiny DESTINY: ... oh... you thought this was a date..?
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Rads@_radsy·
VAMPIRE: can I come inside GIRL: i’m not on birth control
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Rads@_radsy·
while you were huffing and puffing and blowing the house down i was deceiving a little girl into trusting in me as a beloved family member. we are not the same
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Rads@_radsy·
inside of you are two wolves. they love each other very much. now they have puppies! inside of you are, like, five wolves!!!
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Rads@_radsy·
call me curious george the way i be upside down jacking on my johnson
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Rads@_radsy·
ME: god I love how you feel inside me SURGEON: why is she awake
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Rads@_radsy·
A boy at school tells me I’m looking like a snack. I plead with him to take it back, but it is too late. My teachers huddle around me with a bloodthirsty look in their eyes. “D I D Y O U B R I N G E N O U G H T O S H A R E”
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Rads@_radsy·
started being conscious of what I eat and decided to limit myself to one snack a day
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Rads@_radsy·
John. Jacob. Jingleheimer. Schmidt. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony—
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Throne
Throne@official_throne·
🎉Throne x JapanHaul Giveaway ❄️We're gifting 2 lucky winners JapanHaul holiday gift bags! To Enter: Reply with Throne link + RT Follow @japanhaul ⌛You have 72 hours
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Rads@_radsy·
SAILOR: aye, we’d better be careful. Davy Jones loves swallowing seamen. DAVY JONES: *rising from his watery grave* can you please say it ANY other way
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Rads@_radsy·
@JarCat LISTEN I AM A LATE BLOOMER OK
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Rads@_radsy·
heeeeeeyyyyy so none of you guys have connections to rebecca sugar right....? right?
GIF
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Rads@_radsy·
[The Odyssey except everyone is a dog] SIRENS: awOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOooooOOOOoooo ODYSSEUS: *furiously tugging on leash* aawwwOOOOOooooooo
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Rads@_radsy·
therapist: *holding a gun to my head* SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT YOURSELF me: *reaching for the trigger* JUST DO IT
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Rads@_radsy·
Hot tip for dog owners: Be on the lookout for "whale eyes." If your dog has whale eyes, this is BAD SIGN. That is not your dog, it is a whale pretending to be your dog and you are in IMMEDIATE DANGER
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